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PreciousJones Posted 15 years ago
Grammar
Business paragraph
Hi,
My name is James. I’m the overseas manager for P Bed; I’m responsible for contacting clients, distributors and potential OEM customers outside of the USA. Allow me to give you a brief introduction of PC. We’re a multinational US company that manufactures hospital beds and equipments. We provide our products globally, but PBC is based in the US, thus making our main target market the US. PC would really like to try its hand in the hospital technology arena, by engaging itself in the IT industry. This way we’ll not only lead in the hospital apparatus field, but may one day transcend how the world sees health-care as a whole.
Please correct paragraph above! Thanks!
My name is James. I’m the overseas manager for P Bed; I’m responsible for contacting clients, distributors and potential OEM customers outside of the USA. Allow me to give you a brief introduction of PC. We’re a multinational US company that manufactures hospital beds and equipments. We provide our products globally, but PBC is based in the US, thus making our main target market the US. PC would really like to try its hand in the hospital technology arena, by engaging itself in the IT industry. This way we’ll not only lead in the hospital apparatus field, but may one day transcend how the world sees health-care as a whole.
Please correct paragraph above! Thanks!
Top answer
Here is my suggestioned wording. New language in bold, deleted language crossed out. This is not a correction as much as an editing for consistency, clarity, and tone.
- Here is my suggestioned wording.
- New language in bold, deleted language crossed out.
- This is not a correction as much as an editing for consistency, clarity, and tone.
- Hi, My name is James.
- I'm the overseas manager for P C Bed.
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1 Answers
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Here is my suggestioned wording. New language in bold, deleted language crossed out. This is not a correction as much as an editing for consistency, clarity, and tone.
Hi,
My name is James. I'm the overseas manager for PC Bed. As such, I'm responsible for contacting clients, distributors and potential OEM customers outside of the USA. Allow me to g
Hi,
My name is James. I'm the overseas manager for PC Bed. As such, I'm responsible for contacting clients, distributors and potential OEM customers outside of the USA. Allow me to g
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