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Anonymous Posted 16 years ago
Letter Writing
Business Invitation Letter
I work for a hotel & I'm trying to write a template letter for my boss to send to companies who regularly have business coming through our town. Its purpose is to let them know a little about our property & invite them to do business with us. I'm really having trouble with the wording, so I thought I'd ask for a little help. And the part where it says "WORD?" I just can't think of anything to concisely convey what I'm trying to say...which is basically that if they set up a direct bill with our company it would be a lot easier for them to pay us and for their employees to check in. "Establish routine business?" "Establish a business realationship?" Everything I think of is just awful...
Also, I just don't know if I love the structure of the second paragaph...maybe it's fine, maybe not.
Oh, and by the way, my boss said she want's it to be kind of warm & not too formal.
So, here it is so far:
Dear ***,
I am writing to you in my capacity as the Director of Sales for the Best Western Burley Inn & Convention Center, to personally invite you to come stay with us here in Burley, Idaho. After having noticed some of your employees coming to stay the night or to eat at the Perkins Restaurant attached to our property, I thought it might be convenient for you to establish WORD?with us.
Burley is located in south central and is an ideal place to stay, being situated near two of ’s main freeways. Our hotel is also conveniently located just off the freeway, perfect for quick access. Here at the Best Western Burley Inn we have X rooms, all recently renovated & updated to ensure our guests have the most pleasant stay possible. At our sister property, the Budget Motel (located just next door) guests can have a less expensive room without sacrificing quality. We would like to extend a discounted rate to your company, as well as an easy direct bill payment set up.
We look forward to working with you and hope to hear from you soon.
Thanks so much to whoever answers!
Also, I just don't know if I love the structure of the second paragaph...maybe it's fine, maybe not.
Oh, and by the way, my boss said she want's it to be kind of warm & not too formal.
So, here it is so far:
Dear ***,
I am writing to you in my capacity as the Director of Sales for the Best Western Burley Inn & Convention Center, to personally invite you to come stay with us here in Burley, Idaho. After having noticed some of your employees coming to stay the night or to eat at the Perkins Restaurant attached to our property, I thought it might be convenient for you to establish WORD?with us.
Burley is located in south central and is an ideal place to stay, being situated near two of ’s main freeways. Our hotel is also conveniently located just off the freeway, perfect for quick access. Here at the Best Western Burley Inn we have X rooms, all recently renovated & updated to ensure our guests have the most pleasant stay possible. At our sister property, the Budget Motel (located just next door) guests can have a less expensive room without sacrificing quality. We would like to extend a discounted rate to your company, as well as an easy direct bill payment set up.
We look forward to working with you and hope to hear from you soon.
Thanks so much to whoever answers!
Top answer
The easiest way for me to do this is to rewrite your letter (rather than try to correct it). Why don't you look over my version and adopt whatever works in your final version? Dear ***, As the Director of Sales for the Best Western Burley Inn & Convention Center, I would like to personally invite you to come stay with us here in Burley, Idaho.
- The easiest way for me to do this is to rewrite your letter (rather than try to correct it).
- Why don't you look over my version and adopt whatever works in your final version?
- Dear ***, As the Director of Sales for the Best Western Burley Inn & Convention Center, I would like to personally invite you to come stay with us here in Burley, Idaho.
- Several of your employees have spent the night with us or have eaten at the Perkins Restaurant attached to our property.
- Wouldn't it be more convenient all around if we formalized this ongoing relationship?
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1 Answers
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The easiest way for me to do this is to rewrite your letter (rather than try to correct it). Why don't you look over my version and adopt whatever works in your final version?
Dear ***,
As the Director of Sales for the Best Western Burley Inn & Convention Center, I would like to personally invite you to come stay with us here in Burley, Idaho. Several of your em
Dear ***,
As the Director of Sales for the Best Western Burley Inn & Convention Center, I would like to personally invite you to come stay with us here in Burley, Idaho. Several of your em
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