"Middle of nowhere" is a common phrase = far away from any civilization. "******" is a crude expletive in BrEng. We get in trouble, lost, in such-and-such situation = find ourselves (in)
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Philip"******" is a crude expletive in BrEng.In Australia (where the quote comes from) I believe they use it more freely than we do here in the UK. In the UK it is a sort of mid-range expletive. It's not something you'd say in polite company, but it's milder than, say, "f***ing".
Mr Wordybut it's milder than, say, "***".Huh? Even my bleeped-out version got censored. I imagine you can guess the word.