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Goldengoat Posted 4 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Benefits of teenagers' having job while they are still students

*Topic: In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think it is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details (in about 150 words)

*Answer:

I strongly believe that teenagers having job while they are still going to school is somewhat not a bad idea. On the one hand, in some cases where the financial situation of the teenagers’ family is poor, they can be of very great help as they can earn some money and they can reduce the burden of their parents. Also, these students can find good opportunities to develop themselves for future career. Through working whether part-time or full-time, they can learn new skills or strengthen those they have already known, and get used to working environment beforehand. For example, if a student work as a translator, it will give him the chance to practice his foreign language and even learn how to understand words or ideas of it in a whole new way. Although having a job bring teenagers such huge benefits as reducing financial burden, mastering skills, they should balance their work and school.

Thank you very much for your help<3

  

Top answer

I strongly believe that teenagers having a job while they are still going to school is somewhat ("Strongly" conflicts with "somewhat", so using both adverbs is really bad for cohesion and coherence. ) not a bad idea. On the one hand, (I cannot see "on the other hand" in the paragraph.

  • I strongly believe that teenagers having a job while they are still going to school is somewhat ("Strongly" conflicts with "somewhat", so using both adverbs is really bad for cohesion and coherence.
  • ) not a bad idea.
  • On the one hand, (I cannot see "on the other hand" in the paragraph.
  • These transitions come in pairs.
  • ) in some cases where the financial situation of If the teenagers’ family is poor, they can be of very great help as they can earn some money to pay their school fees and they can reduce the burden on of their parents.
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1 Answers
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I strongly believe that teenagers having a job while they are still going to school is somewhat ("Strongly" conflicts with "somewhat", so using both adverbs is really bad for cohesion and coherence. ) not a bad idea. On the one hand, (I cannot see "on the other hand" in the paragraph. These transitions come in pairs. Us

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