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Contiluo Posted 14 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Be jealous of

Please check the following paragraph.

This is my brother, and he is a Scorpio. He is very jealous of what other people own. He often wants to have the same things as what his classmates have. Nevertheless, he is very hard-working. He always finishes the work as soon as possible. Besides, He is very helpful to my parents.
  

Top answer

I have underlined some problems: This is my brother, and he is a Scorpio. He is very jealous of what other people own. He often wants to have the same things as what his classmates have.

  • I have underlined some problems: This is my brother, and he is a Scorpio.
  • He is very jealous of what other people own.
  • He often wants to have the same things as what his classmates have.
  • Nevertheless , he is very hard-working.
  • He always finishes the work as soon as possible.
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3 Answers
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I have underlined some problems:

This is my brother, and he is a Scorpio. He is very jealous of what other people own. He often wants to have the same things as what his classmates have. Nevertheless, he is very hard-working. He always finishes the work as soon as possible. Besides, He is very helpful to my parents.
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This is my brother, and he is a Scorpio. He is very jealous of what other people own. He often wants to have the same things his classmates have. On the other side, he is very hard-working. He always finishes work as soon as possible. Besides, he is very helpful to my parents.
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This is my brother, and he is a Scorpio. He is very jealous of what other people own. He often wants to have the same things his classmates have. However, he is very hard-working. He always finishes work as soon as possible. Besides, he is very helpful to my parents.

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