0
Melci Posted 14 years ago
Grammar

Awkward

Hi everyone,

I wrote a summary response and I received feedback. Now I am making corrections, but i couldn't correct that one,

My sentence,

As a result, Friedman (2011) reveals important facts about world’s present situation, over using resources, permanent damages earth had taken. Nevertheless, the solution he offers seems not clear and not comprehensive.

My teacher labeled it as "Awkward- This expression or construction is cumbersome or difficult to read. Consider rewrite it".

Can you help me with this?
  

Top answer

Hi, As a result, Friedman (2011) reveals important facts about world’s present situation, over using resources, permanent damages earth had taken. Nevertheless, the solution he offers seems not clear and not comprehensive. eg As a result, Friedman (2011) reveals important facts about the present world situation.

  • Hi, As a result, Friedman (2011) reveals important facts about world’s present situation, over using resources, permanent damages earth had taken.
  • Nevertheless, the solution he offers seems not clear and not comprehensive.
  • eg As a result, Friedman (2011) reveals important facts about the present world situation.
  • These include resource overuse and permanent environmental damage..
  • Nevertheless, the solution he offers seems unclear and not comprehensive.
Free · every Monday

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.

1 Answers
0
Hi,

As a result, Friedman (2011) reveals important facts about world’s present situation, over using resources, permanent damages earth had taken. Nevertheless, the solution he offers seems not clear and not comprehensive.

eg As a result, Friedman (2011) reveals important facts about the present world situation. These include resource overuse and per

Related Questions