Autobiographical essay - coul someone, please, review it?

Hi,

I am a Brazilian student who is applying for study some subjects at the United States and so I have to hand in an autobiographical essay.

I have read some comments you made in other essays, and I have used them, but I want your help too!

Thanks a lot!

SI_VULCANO



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I am a law student at XXXX University, coursing the last year, and I am writing to apply for admission to the School of Business at the State University XXXXXX, where I want to study some subjects of the Undergraduate Program from the Law and Finance courses.

At the University I have always been interested in Commercial law and other subjects related to it, such as Contract law, International law (Public and Private) and Tax law. And as optional subjects, I chose Information Technology law, Bank Contract law and International Commerce law. Moreover, I worked for one semester as a student assistant to chair of Commercial law and I participated of two study groups, one studied bankruptcy and the other marks and patents.

During the last two semesters I worked on my monograph for graduation, which will be about the Provisory Contribution for Financial Movement (Contribuição Provisória sobre Movimentação Financeira – CPFM) in the Symbolic Exchange Contracts.

Therefore, I became passionate about Business law and nowadays I work as an intern at the judicial tax litigation area of XXXXXXX - lawyers, a very recognized law firm specialized in tax, corporate, banking, financial and administrative law, as well as on oil and gas, electric power and telecommunications. It has been considered for five successive years as the best tax law firm of Brazil by the English publication Chambers Global Guide – Chamber and Partners.

Before, I had already worked in other law firm, also at the judicial tax litigation area, and in the Study Center of the State Procuracy of São Paulo, where I did researches about civil liability and civil litigation. In addition, I worked at the Public Defensory, where I volunteered giving assistance to those who cannot pay for a lawyer.

After completion the law course I have a few study plans, such as take another degree course on Business or Economics. Also, I intend to specialize in Project Finance and taking the LL.M. in International Tax Law at Leiden University, the Netherlands.

In conclusion, considering my solid foundation and interest in Business law and as my parents and I recognized that if I were to have a the greatest opportunities in life I needed to have a strong command of English, I am applying for study Legal Environment of Business, Business law, Law of Business Organization and Finance Management at the State University of New York at Albany.