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Yoong Liat Posted 20 years ago
Grammar
'at' and 'back'
Ali shouted angrily at the monkeys. They shrieked when they heard him shouting. He shook his right fist at them to express his anger at them and the monkeys shook their fists back.
Are 'at' and 'shook their fists back' correctly used? Any suggestions to improve the passage?
Thanks in advance.
Are 'at' and 'shook their fists back' correctly used? Any suggestions to improve the passage?
Thanks in advance.
Top answer
The passage is fine. You can shake a fist at someone, point at someone, laugh at someone, be angry at someone (or angry with someone), and so on. shook their fists back means shook their fists in return .
- The passage is fine.
- You can shake a fist at someone, point at someone, laugh at someone, be angry at someone (or angry with someone), and so on.
- shook their fists back means shook their fists in return .
- CJ
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8 Answers
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The passage is fine.
You can shake a fist at someone, point at someone, laugh at someone, be angry at someone (or angry with someone), and so on.
shook their fists back means shook their fists in return.
CJ
You can shake a fist at someone, point at someone, laugh at someone, be angry at someone (or angry with someone), and so on.
shook their fists back means shook their fists in return.
CJ
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You have a repetition here:
He shook his right fist at them to express his anger at them
He shook his right fist at them to express his anger at them
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Marius HancuYou have a repetition here:It would be better to write: He shook his right fist at them to show his anger.
He shook his right fist at them to express his anger at them
Do you agree, Marius?
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Yoong LiatMarius HancuYou have a repetition here:It would be better to write: He shook his right fist at them to show his anger.
He shook his right fist at them to express his anger at them
Do you agree,
00
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Original sentence
Ali shouted angrily at the monkeys. They shrieked when they heard him shouting. He shook his right fist at them to express his anger at them and the monkeys shook their fists back.
Just a suggestion...
Ali shouted at the monkeys, and they shrieked. When he shook his right fist at them, they respond
Ali shouted angrily at the monkeys. They shrieked when they heard him shouting. He shook his right fist at them to express his anger at them and the monkeys shook their fists back.
Just a suggestion...
Ali shouted at the monkeys, and they shrieked. When he shook his right fist at them, they respond
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Calive,
Yes yours is an ok alternative but it reads in a rather dull way, whereas before it is quite an exciting narrative. I really like the original use of creative language.
After all, we could reduce it down to "Ali shouted at the monkeys. They shrieked. He shook his fist at them. They shook their fists." but that's just incredibly boring.
I agree that in "shaking fi
Yes yours is an ok alternative but it reads in a rather dull way, whereas before it is quite an exciting narrative. I really like the original use of creative language.
After all, we could reduce it down to "Ali shouted at the monkeys. They shrieked. He shook his fist at them. They shook their fists." but that's just incredibly boring.
I agree that in "shaking fi
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Nona, I agree with your comments. I would like to add a point. In an essay, dialogues are used to make the story more interesting.
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