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Starkhan Posted 15 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
At 5 Oclock in the morning
AT FIVE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING
It was five o'clock in the morning . I got up and came out of my apartment rubbing my eyes, yawning and thinking about the beauty of the morning at a small platform full of serenity and peace. Suddenly a voice drew my attention, "Do you need a cigarette, tobacco, pan maslals or anything else?" An eight year old boy was trying to get my attention. I was aghast and bothered at that moment and became very pensive. Then another came, then one more, then yet another. They gathered around me. They were all the same age. They were carrying heavy tobacco bags around their necks, they were hardly able to stand on their feet. It was a frightening situation for they were all around me shouting. I thought, "What should I do?" I decided to ask their names. They told me, yet they were angry. One of them muttered, "Why is he wasting our time?
Why do you do such a poor job?" I asked the smallest boy putting my hand gently on his shoulder, "Would you leave me?" He raised up on his toes. "What a vain question," he said. "Spoiled the mood early in the morning," another child uttered. "Will you purchase or not, why are you asking such foolish questions?" I said, "O.K. I will; I will purchase one pack of cigarettes from each of you, but you have to answer me your names." One of them came forward and said, "Well! if you want, let me answer. Of course we desire to have the best clothes, delicious foods, luxurious lives, excellent knowledge, fabulous surroundings, healthy minds, wonderful gardens full of roses, where we would play and enjoy but how, O cranky man? With almost no money and dirty appearances? Who will stop our hunger? I was quite exasperated and had much anguish. But a vestigial hope abated my grief. It was a beam of knowledge which could spread awareness and save the children.
Ahsan Javed
I need feed back
It was five o'clock in the morning . I got up and came out of my apartment rubbing my eyes, yawning and thinking about the beauty of the morning at a small platform full of serenity and peace. Suddenly a voice drew my attention, "Do you need a cigarette, tobacco, pan maslals or anything else?" An eight year old boy was trying to get my attention. I was aghast and bothered at that moment and became very pensive. Then another came, then one more, then yet another. They gathered around me. They were all the same age. They were carrying heavy tobacco bags around their necks, they were hardly able to stand on their feet. It was a frightening situation for they were all around me shouting. I thought, "What should I do?" I decided to ask their names. They told me, yet they were angry. One of them muttered, "Why is he wasting our time?
Why do you do such a poor job?" I asked the smallest boy putting my hand gently on his shoulder, "Would you leave me?" He raised up on his toes. "What a vain question," he said. "Spoiled the mood early in the morning," another child uttered. "Will you purchase or not, why are you asking such foolish questions?" I said, "O.K. I will; I will purchase one pack of cigarettes from each of you, but you have to answer me your names." One of them came forward and said, "Well! if you want, let me answer. Of course we desire to have the best clothes, delicious foods, luxurious lives, excellent knowledge, fabulous surroundings, healthy minds, wonderful gardens full of roses, where we would play and enjoy but how, O cranky man? With almost no money and dirty appearances? Who will stop our hunger? I was quite exasperated and had much anguish. But a vestigial hope abated my grief. It was a beam of knowledge which could spread awareness and save the children.
Ahsan Javed
I need feed back
Top answer
Are Starkan and Ahsan Javed the same person? Please can you tell me a little about this text... was it a personal experience?
- Are Starkan and Ahsan Javed the same person?
- Please can you tell me a little about this text...
- was it a personal experience?
- I can give you more feedback once I know the background of the story...
- but what I can tell you at this point is the following: I love the style of the writing...
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10 Answers
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Are Starkan and Ahsan Javed the same person?
Please can you tell me a little about this text... did you write it...was it a personal experience?
I can give you more feedback once I know the background of the story... but what I can tell you at this point is the following:
I love the style of the writing... I love the thoughts and ideas brought up... the story draws me in... it'
Please can you tell me a little about this text... did you write it...was it a personal experience?
I can give you more feedback once I know the background of the story... but what I can tell you at this point is the following:
I love the style of the writing... I love the thoughts and ideas brought up... the story draws me in... it'
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Hi Star Khan,
This is very descriptive and colorfully written. Without addressing anything specific I would just say in general that the ending left me hanging. You paint a grim picture of these youth trying to improve their situation but don't address a clear solution. None the less I enjoyed the image you created. You are clearly expanding your vocabulary.
Nicely done,
This is very descriptive and colorfully written. Without addressing anything specific I would just say in general that the ending left me hanging. You paint a grim picture of these youth trying to improve their situation but don't address a clear solution. None the less I enjoyed the image you created. You are clearly expanding your vocabulary.
Nicely done,
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That's the part that I love the best... that he leaves us "hanging" so to speak.
I think it is overly simplistic to expect a solution. There was literally a crowd of kid street vendors that clamored for his attention... a reality that can be seen in most countries around the world.
The story opens up a small dialogue in one's mind and asks us whether we will do something in our own smal
I think it is overly simplistic to expect a solution. There was literally a crowd of kid street vendors that clamored for his attention... a reality that can be seen in most countries around the world.
The story opens up a small dialogue in one's mind and asks us whether we will do something in our own smal
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Let me express my inner happiness to look at such exited and couragious response and feed back. It was a big exitement to be asked that who is author and who is Ahsan javed.
Well Ahsan javed is a student of basically Arabic language in J.N.U New Delhi India (jnu.ac.in )my name is merely here on English forums.com.
It is a true story that happened with me when I was traveling to my home t
Well Ahsan javed is a student of basically Arabic language in J.N.U New Delhi India (jnu.ac.in )my name is merely here on English forums.com.
It is a true story that happened with me when I was traveling to my home t
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Hi Star Khan,
I'm glad you are pleased with your feed back. In the time we have cooresponded I never cease to be amazed with your enthusiasm. It will serve you well in your studies. I believe alot of the minor corrections will come in time with continued exposure to English. Regarding the story you wrote I was aware of the educational reference in the last sentence but still feel it coul
I'm glad you are pleased with your feed back. In the time we have cooresponded I never cease to be amazed with your enthusiasm. It will serve you well in your studies. I believe alot of the minor corrections will come in time with continued exposure to English. Regarding the story you wrote I was aware of the educational reference in the last sentence but still feel it coul
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Star Khan... why don't you develop it into a longer story... or a book, although the rest would have to be a work of fiction. I'll be the first to read it!
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Hi Star Khan,
While there is some artistic appeal in leaving the reader guessing this does have the potential of becoming a fully developed story. I think you wanted to point out the contrast of those who have and those who don't. That could be the theme of what you try to express. We have a subways like the A train in New York City that has the unique quality of going through the riches
While there is some artistic appeal in leaving the reader guessing this does have the potential of becoming a fully developed story. I think you wanted to point out the contrast of those who have and those who don't. That could be the theme of what you try to express. We have a subways like the A train in New York City that has the unique quality of going through the riches
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I am so thankful to you both my teachers. I am very new in this field as well as I am not very good at English language. Who will not desire to compose a book and be a writer. I think it is very common thinking among literary persons.
I will try my best to do so. Because there is a thinking always obliges me to think of that in my mind. That is our devision between poor a
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Hi Star Khan,
Many of us witness social injustice to various degrees. A good story could help the problem with education. A book can be a big job however. You might want to just take your story or other situations you witness and make longer stories. It could be a stepping stone for when you want to commit to a book.
Either way I wish you well,
Tom
Many of us witness social injustice to various degrees. A good story could help the problem with education. A book can be a big job however. You might want to just take your story or other situations you witness and make longer stories. It could be a stepping stone for when you want to commit to a book.
Either way I wish you well,
Tom
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Hi Frank,
It is just a coincidence that I came to see my story if it still exists on this forum. Gladly it was here as I wrote it almost four years ago.
I needed to look up the story again, because I have to present my project 4 at Toastmasters club. I am truly happy and thankful to www.EnglishForward.com which has preserved it for so long.
Now, I would like to answer yo
It is just a coincidence that I came to see my story if it still exists on this forum. Gladly it was here as I wrote it almost four years ago.
I needed to look up the story again, because I have to present my project 4 at Toastmasters club. I am truly happy and thankful to www.EnglishForward.com which has preserved it for so long.
Now, I would like to answer yo
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