Assistance needed for the correction of following:

I have written a motivation letter for a MS programme. I have confusion about few paras in terms of accuracy of the language. I need help to fix it:

I applied to MMP programme last year as well. I was offered the admission, but did not receive scholarship. Neither I nor my family can afford the tuition, travel cost and cost of living. So I had no way but to deny the admission offer.

In the meantime, I have taken IELTS exam (band score ), and I have completed my thesis writing and accomplished Master’s in AB from University of D. I was awarded Grade A (top grade) for thesis. The following question may easily come up in the mind, why another Master’s?
My previous Master’s programme and the thesis I submitted was entirely followed qualitative approach. I am extremely eager to learn the use of quantitative method in data collection and analysis along with qualitative methods. My objective is to build my career in International Nongovernmental Organizations (INGOs) or Multilateral Organizations.

In line with my career goal, I conducted thesis on NGOs, titled “GH”. I intend to work on “Governance of NGOs” in future. Therefore, in continuation of my prior study, I chose the “The AB” study track. I would like to start the Master’s at the A since they offer relevant courses like governance in development and research methods including qualitative and quantitative, continuing with University of Y. .
I am totally impressed by the academic curriculum of MMP program. This program has an internship opportunity that could help me to attain professional experience on research field. This internship will enable me to apply the theoretical knowledge that I will be achieved through the coursework.