Asking for help (just 15 sentences)

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Hi guys,my mother asked me to translate the annotation of her bachelor thesis into english. Could you please take a brief look at it and correct mistakes if there are any...I believe it's not too long..:-)Annotation:This Bachelor thesis treats of analysis and evaluation of the requalification course "Projekt Most", which supports work exercise of the unemploeyd minors with the basic education. Course is realized by the work department in Ceská Lípa. Theoretical part discusses the importance of work, psychological consequences of the unemployment and it's negative phenomena. Main attention was given to the personal development of the children and the adolescents and the role of the family and school in the breeding and education in connection with the creation of the work and education habits. At the end of the theoretical part are introduced projects realized abroad and in the Czech Republic which support work exercise of the unqualified minors, including legislation concerning to this matters. Practical part treats of work exercise of the requalification course graduates and their return to the school. Research was also interested in the family environment of the minors in connection with the failing in the vocational preparation. The goal was to figure out how the project is successfull in the minors unemployment removing and whether it is possible based on the research results to recommend this project for use even to other work departments. Key words: Personal development, puberty, breeding, family, education, job choosing, minors with the basic education, unemployment, work department, job programms, requalification, work exercise. thanks a million in advanceTomas

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Hi Tomas,
I'm glad to help. It's a rough draft and needs another round or two. You also need to find the correct English technical equivalents for the terms you use (requalification, work exercise, minors, etc.) since I suspect these are not what you mean.

Annotation:This Bachelor thesis treats of (of is not correct here, since treats is a verb. It needs a direct object.) analysis and evaluation of the requalification course, "Projekt Most", which supports work exercise of the unemploeyd minors with the basic education. (This sentence is awkward. Do you mean that it combines part-time work with basic education?) The course is supervised (or conducted) ~~realized~~ by the work department (department of labor?) in Ceská Lípa. The theoretical part discusses the importance of work, psychological consequences of ~~the~~ unemployment and ~~it's~~ its negative phenomena (use effects or ramifications.). ~~Main~~ Particular attention was given (past tense?) to the personal development of the children and the adolescents and the role of the family and school in the breeding (breeding refers to animal reproduction) and education in connection with the creation of the work and education habits. (run-on sentence. Please re-write it. ) ~~At the end of~~ Following the theoretical part, (put the subject here) are introduced projects realized abroad and in the Czech Republic which support work exercise (on-the-job training?) of the unqualified (?) minors (minors are people who have not reached a legal age for an activity like voting, purchase of alchohol or tobacco products, or drinking in bars), including relevant legislation ~~concerning to this matters~~. The practical part treats of work exercise of the requalification course graduates and their return to the school. The researcher was also interested in the relationship between the family environment of the minors ~~in connection with~~ and the failure of ~~failing in~~ the vocational education programs(?). ~~preparation.~~ The goal was to figure out (establish the factors for?) how the project is successfull in the decrease in the ~~minors~~ unemployment rates among adolescents ~~removing~~ and whether ~~it is possible based on~~ the research results (are conclusive enough) to recommend this project for use in~~even to~~ other work departments.

Key words: Personal development, puberty, breeding, family, education, job choosing, minors with ~~the~~ basic education, unemployment, work department, job programms, requalification, work exercise.

Regards,
A-

s

Anonymous · Answer

Fantastic, thanks a lot, Alphecca!!!

And of course, I will take a look again at the terms you mentioned.

Thanks again for brilliant help..

Best Regards

Tomas

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Hi Tomas:
Post your next version, and we can polish it. If you log in, it will be easier to follow your threads, and your posts won't have to go through moderation.

Regards,
A-

s

JCDenton · Answer

AlpheccaStarsHi Tomas:Post your next version, and we can polish it. If you log in, it will be easier to follow your threads, and your posts won't have to go through moderation. Regards,A-s

Thanks a lot Alphecca,

Yeah, I will post it and I hope I won't forget to log in..:-)

T.

ThuyVan · Answer

Thank you!^^

JCDenton · Answer

Hi Alphecca,

So, I gave it round two as you suggested me. I changed some terms in there, you were absolutely right, they didn't make any sense...Especially "work exercise". I changed it to "work possibilities"...Because before the unqualified teenagers came into that mentioned course, they had no skills which means much less work possibilities...The goal of that course is to teach them something in order to make that possibilities bigger...Then I changed for example "breeding"

to"upbringing", that should work...Ok here we go.

Annotation:

This Bachelor thesis treats about analysis and evaluation of the requalification course "Projekt Most", which increases work possibilities of the unemploeyd teenagers with basic education. The course is conducted by the department of labor in Ceská Lípa. The theoretical part discusses the importance of work, psychological consequences of uneployment and its negative ramifications.
Particular attention is given to the personal development of the children and the teenagers. And also to role of the family and school in the upbringing and education in terms of creation work and education habits. Following the theoretical part, there are introduced projects conducted abroad and in the Czech Republic, which increase work possibilities of the unqualified teenagers, including relevant legislation. The practical part treats about work possibilities of the requalification course graduates and their return to school. Examination was also focused on relationship between the family environment of the teenagers and the failure of the vocational education programs. The goal was to establish the factors of how the project decreases the unemployment rates among adolescents and whether the research results are conclusive enough to recommend this project for use in other work departments.

Key words: Personal development, puberty, upbringing, family, education, job choosing,
minors with basic education, unemployment, department of labor, job courses, requalification, work possibilities.

thanks again in advance for your effort and free time.

I really appreciate that, because that text isn't quite easy.

Best Regards

Tomas

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Hi Tomas: I've given it a go, and you can take the rewritten parts that you like as the basis for the next draft.

A-

s

This Bachelors thesis analyses and evaluates ~~about analysis and evaluation of~~ the effectiveness of the requalification course "Projekt Most", which purports to increase work possibilities for unemployed teenagers by giving them basic education. The course is conducted by the department of labor in Ceská Lípa.

The theoretical section discusses the importance of work, psychological consequences of unemployment and its negative ramifications.
Particular attention is given to the personal development of the children and the teenagers, with emphasis on the role of the family and school in their upbringing and education as they affect attitudes toward (?)~~in terms of creation~~ work and study ~~education~~ habits.

Following the theoretical section, there is a review of comparative ~~are introduced~~ projects conducted abroad and in the Czech Republic, which are purposed to increase work possibilities of the unqualified (undereducated or unskilled ?)teenagers, including related legislation. The practical part ~~treats about~~ addresses the project's outcome: the range of job opportunities provided to ~~possibilities of~~ the requalification course graduates and their return to school. It also examines the ~~Examination was also focused on~~ relationship between the family environment of the teenagers and the failure of traditional vocational education programs. The goal was to establish the factors affecting the decrease in ~~of how the project decreases~~ the unemployment rates among adolescents and whether the research results are conclusive enough to recommend this project for use in other work departments.

JCDenton · Answer

Great, thanks a lot for second revision, Alphecca! [Y]

I think this last version doesn't need another rounds.

Thanks again, my mom is going to be glad..

Best Regards

Tomas

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