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Anonymous Posted 13 years ago
Grammar

Asking for a place at a university

Hello! I've written the following e-mail to ask for a place at a foreign university to do my practice. Would anyone be so kind to read it and correct it if necessary? Comments on the content would also be more than welcome.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am a student at the Technological Educational Institute of ****, *****, currently pursuing the Bachelor in Midwifery degree programme. I am writing to inquire about a place at your University to obtain my practice experience as a Registered Midwife.

The Midwifery degree programme lasts four years and I have completed seven semesters of my studies. I would really appreciate it if you could accept me as a trainee in your university to fulfill my training requirement. I have chosen to apply to your university because I believe you could give me the opportunity to gain valuable academic and clinical experience and acquire essential skills to further my career goal. I strongly believe that I would very well fit the atmosphere of an institution of your own level.

I hope to hear from you at your earliest convenience.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

First name Last name
  

Top answer

I have eliminated some sentences, as they add nothing but verbiage to your request. Are you attaching your transcript to date? You should do so; I have added a line in your letter to that effect.

  • I have eliminated some sentences, as they add nothing but verbiage to your request.
  • Are you attaching your transcript to date?
  • You should do so; I have added a line in your letter to that effect.
  • Dear Sir/Madam, I am a student at the Technological Educational Institute of ****, *****, currently pursuing my Bachelor in Midwifery degree.
  • I am writing to inquire about a trainee position at your university to fulfill my practice experience requirement as a Registered Midwife.
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3 Answers
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I have eliminated some sentences, as they add nothing but verbiage to your request. Are you attaching your transcript to date? You should do so; I have added a line in your letter to that effect.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am a student at the Technological Educational Institute of ****, *****, currently pursuing my Bachelor in Midwifery degree. I am writing to inqui
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Thank you so much, Mr Micawber! As of my transcript, I am not supposed to attach it in my first e-mail. I will do so, if I receive a favorable response from them. At least, this is what I was told from my university. Thanks again.
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In that case, you need to write a couple of sentences detailing your program.

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