Ask help for motivation letter

Hi, Mountainhiker, I am here to ask your help for my motivation letter. I have carefully read many prior posts about motivation letters. I modified again and again my letter in light of your advice. However, I still feel that is not enough. My letter is long, and I know it not looks good. Could you kindly help me with it? Look forward to your wise advice.



P.S. I would like to be more clearer about the opening letter stuff. What should I place before 'Dear Sir or Madam'? Name, university and email?



Dear Sir or Madam,



I wish to apply for the Master of Business and Technology program at Vrije Universiteit Brussel (VUB) for the 2011 autumn term.



The undergraduate study in Yanshan University (China) has given me a thorough understanding of industrial engineering which is my major. Benefiting from the broad nature of industrial engineering, I have been exposed to a wide range of knowledge from business economics to technological process. Having studied the specialized courses, I have gained the basic skills of systematic research, analytical thinking and information evaluation. I am particularly equipped with knowledge of mathematical modelling to analyze complex problems. And driven by strong interests, I self learned extra computer programs such as AutoCAD and C Language. My favourite parts of study were the curriculum designs and academic internship. These practical experiences not only provided me with deeper insight into the synergy of business theory and engineering science, but also inspired me towards developing a design attitude to create tailor-made solutions to practical problems.



Equipped with these knowledge and skills, I could perform well as the top three in my class. And I was honoured to be the only student of my department winning the Excellent Graduation Thesis of Yanshan University. I studied handling technology innovation of Qinhuangdao Port which is the world's largest coal export. During accomplishing the thesis, I referred to lots of technical literature and went to the loading and unloading spots to collect the first hand data. Based on my critical thinking, I made analysis of the huge benefits brought by the technology innovation for the port and proposed a novel solution to the key existing problem.



After graduating, as a selected Erasmus Mundus exchange students, I came to study in the postgraduate programme investing in the EU of VUB. Besides its favourable learning environment and varieties of cultural activity, what attracts me most is its academic freedom and rigorous scholarship. Benefiting from that, I can not only get a wealth of practical knowledge from professionals around the world, but also keep in pace with the latest academic theories.



Studying in the postgraduate programme granted me a good opportunity to learn more about the jargon of business and led me to a clearer picture of investment in the EU. Especially Professor Patrick Uyttendaele’s lectures deepened my understanding on economic analysis. Meanwhile, after being permitted, I have sat in on some courses about management science. These courses provided me with advanced theories and the state-of-the-art operations enabling tools that help business thrive. As a result, I developed further interests in the field of business economics. I contributed my free time to reading related books and keeping self updated using the latest economic information available on the internet. Additionally, by attending plenty of academic activities, such as lectures, debates and public thesis defence, I got extensive exposure in variously novel perspectives, which have broadened my view. Even I had the chances to bring questions to internationally known scholars. All these experience in VUB meets my great appetite for knowledge and leads me to be more active in critical thinking.



The philosophy of the Belgian business engineer - Economics as its foundation, technology as added value and entrepreneurship as a guideline sounds just fit for me. I prefer it for its focus on business yet with different choice of fields. That is distinguished from those industrial engineering courses in other universities which are designed to emphasize more on technology or logistics. I intend to grow in the field of Business and Technology, thus reacting to ever-changing business environments.



Last but not least, thanks to Professor Dr. Jalal Ashayeri, who is the teacher of my mentor Xumei YUAN of Yanshan University. He not only gave me lots of helpful academic advice, but also modelled my way of thinking to some extent. His encouragement made me determined to further study in VUB, where he has worked for 10 years before.



It is my dream and ambition to pursue my graduate study in VUB. Integration of business and technology disciplines is such a thrilling and challenging field that I am keen to devote myself. VUB has offered me a lot and I hope VUB permits me to bridge the gap between the different worlds of business and technology by being admitted to this master program.



Thank you for your attention and consideration. Look forward to permission to take up new challenges in Belgium. If any additional information is needed, I am happy to supply it.



Yours sincerely,