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Qingqing Posted 21 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
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Can anyone help me to cerrect the following passage? Only check if there are some grammatical mistakes. Thanks.
Name: Teensy
Age: 16
Height: 1.6 m
Weight: 50.5 kg
Blood type: O
Constellation: Gemini
Interest: play games, sport, imagination, exploration, study, surf the Internet
Family: My mum, my dad and I.
I'm really proud to introduce myself to you here, my friends. As you already know, my name is Teensy. Many friends of mine think of me as a sunny boy of imagination, humour and confidence. In common with many young people today, I go in for rock music, basketball, skating, computer games, study and so on. Quite a lot, isn't it? But I have a special interest, that is, collecting sports magazines, such as Sports World and Modern Sports.
Now, I'd like to talk about my happy family. My mother is a senior journalist and works for a popular English paper Teens. She has a childish heart and often comes up with a lot of funny ideas. Smile is often on her face but she will be serious while criticizing us. What about my dad? You guess what? He is a local caricaturist! And of course, I'm a fanatical fan of him.
I love my parents very much but I don't do all the things just in the way they tell me. I have my own way to act. Also I think one should be brave enough to act out his or her ideas.
I enjoy my life, enjoy the process of study, enjoy the wonderful time I spend with my parents and enjoy the work I do to realize my dreams. I will keep on learning on and make my dream come true someday.
Name: Teensy
Age: 16
Height: 1.6 m
Weight: 50.5 kg
Blood type: O
Constellation: Gemini
Interest: play games, sport, imagination, exploration, study, surf the Internet
Family: My mum, my dad and I.
I'm really proud to introduce myself to you here, my friends. As you already know, my name is Teensy. Many friends of mine think of me as a sunny boy of imagination, humour and confidence. In common with many young people today, I go in for rock music, basketball, skating, computer games, study and so on. Quite a lot, isn't it? But I have a special interest, that is, collecting sports magazines, such as Sports World and Modern Sports.
Now, I'd like to talk about my happy family. My mother is a senior journalist and works for a popular English paper Teens. She has a childish heart and often comes up with a lot of funny ideas. Smile is often on her face but she will be serious while criticizing us. What about my dad? You guess what? He is a local caricaturist! And of course, I'm a fanatical fan of him.
I love my parents very much but I don't do all the things just in the way they tell me. I have my own way to act. Also I think one should be brave enough to act out his or her ideas.
I enjoy my life, enjoy the process of study, enjoy the wonderful time I spend with my parents and enjoy the work I do to realize my dreams. I will keep on learning on and make my dream come true someday.
Top answer
Hi teensy, this is quite well written and is a nice introduction to you. A couple of quick points for you: Description of your parents Childish is not a very complimentary description as it means immature. Child-like, however, fits your purpose quite nicely as it can have a more positive meaning, for example very curious, very innocent etc.
- Hi teensy, this is quite well written and is a nice introduction to you.
- A couple of quick points for you: Description of your parents Childish is not a very complimentary description as it means immature.
- Child-like, however, fits your purpose quite nicely as it can have a more positive meaning, for example very curious, very innocent etc.
- A smile or Smiles are.
- fanatical fan sounds a bit odd, can you think of a replacement for one of these words.
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2 Answers
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Hi teensy,
this is quite well written and is a nice introduction to you. A couple of quick points for you:
Description of your parents
Childish is not a very complimentary description as it means immature. Child-like, however, fits your purpose quite nicely as it can have a more positive meaning, for example very curious, very innocent etc. A smile or Smiles are. fanat
this is quite well written and is a nice introduction to you. A couple of quick points for you:
Description of your parents
Childish is not a very complimentary description as it means immature. Child-like, however, fits your purpose quite nicely as it can have a more positive meaning, for example very curious, very innocent etc. A smile or Smiles are. fanat
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