Are you mad at me?

Question

When I heard 'Are you mad at me?', at first I didn't understand what's meaning of this. I usually use anger and upset. I thought that mad means insane. What is difference between 'Are you mad at me?' and ' are you angry with me?'

JohnParis · Accepted Answer

There is no difference between "mad at" and "angry with".

In the US, you'll be more likely to hear "mad at" in informal conversation.

John

JoshStafford · Answer

This is interesting. As a father I tell my children I'm not angry with them, but I'm mad at what they did. Maybe it is my pedantic data architect behaviour revealing itself but the person and behaviour are two separate things. I never realised, until now, that I use "angry with" for a person, but "mad at" a behaviour. Hmm...

I'm not saying either is right or wrong; just that I found the realisation interesting. Thanks for posting and allowing me to know myself a bit better.

JoshStafford · Answer

A Ram Hwang I thought that mad means insane.

Yes, it does. However, you can be mad (insane) with anger. The expression is more North American than British; a Brit would probably frown at the expression and have a similar reaction to yours. I know that was mine when I first came to Canada.

CalifJim · Answer

We Americans are sometimes told in our high school English classes that we should say "Are you angry at me?" and not "Are you mad at me?"

Though this advice has been dispensed for many generations, it has never stuck. We almost universally say "Are you mad at me?" for "Are you angry at me?"

CJ

A Ram Hwang · Answer

You mean that you use "mad at" and "angry with" in different situation?

Is it general? or is it your own pattern?

Actually, "mad at" sounds like an informal words.

I think you used these words without any other consideration.

I also glad that you found realisation because of my question.

JoshStafford · Answer

A Ram HwangYou mean that you use "mad at" and "angry with" in different situation?
Is it general? or is it your own pattern?
Actually, "mad at" sounds like an informal words.

I think it is my own pattern. My family tells me I use ‘mad at’ and ‘angry with’ interchangeably, and also ‘mad with’ too, but not ‘angry at’.

Anonymous · Answer

Anonymous · Answer

Perhaps this distinction is no longer observed, but here is the formal explanation:
"Mad" suggests insanity.
One is "angry at" things, but "angry with" persons.

Anonymous · Answer

can i say, are you mad with me or is that wrong?

Doriscornago · Answer

Mad at Me Meaning

"Mad at someone/something" means being angry, furious with someone, or something.

The formal definition of mad is mentally ill or insane. People frequently use the word mad when they mean angry, which is incorrect usage. Angry contains the strong feelings of hostility and displeasure. Upset contains the emotions of disappointment, worry, unhappiness, sadness.

You might say these words are shades of gray but we express them similarly in an absentminded way but could mean something else. Here's an interesting observation regarding the connotation of "mad with" vs "mad at":

Saying, "are you upset with me" implies you're also upset and apologetic for whatever you might have done. to say "at" misses the edge of apology you may have.

"Are you upset with something I (adding a 'may' here works, too) have done?" That's the full phrase and the reasoning behind the 'with' instead of 'at'.

There is also this distinction we have read from a resource:

Use "angry at" with machines, objects, etc, eg. He is angry at his car.
Use "angry with" with people and may be animal eg. He is angry with his brother.

The meaning of the word "mad"

I know the word "mad" can confuse when used in a sentence like that (above). Usually, when we say mad, we mean crazy, right?

But the word "mad" has several other meanings:

Extremely foolish (British)

You are mad to be buying such an expensive handbag.

Very enthusiastic (Informal)

I'm mad about beach volleyball.

Very angry (Informal)

Please, don't be mad at me.

"Mad at me" falls under the informal category of the word "mad," and we often use it in everyday speech.

When do we use "mad at me?"

We say, "are you mad at me" whenever we want to check in on someone who seems to be angry at us. It's a pretty common way to ask a person how they're feeling towards us.

Examples:

She got mad at me after I told her that I wasn't going on a trip.
I am mad at you for not calling me enough.
Are you mad at me? Please, answer.

What's the difference between "mad at me," "angry with me," and "upset with me?"

The English words “upset” and “angry” describe similar emotions but they are not quite the same. You cannot always use “upset” to mean “angry,” or vice versa. In general, “angry” is a stronger feeling, so you should use this word only in extreme situations. “Upset” can be applied to smaller, less intense emotions.

Examples:

Are you mad at me because I ate the last pizza slice?
Are you angry with me because I ate the last pizza slice?
Are you upset with me because I ate the last pizza slice?

All three sentences are not the same as they have different connotations as we have discussed, but we use them in our daily lives in different situations, sometimes equally. Bottom line is: The word choice is a matter of preference. You can clarify later what you truly mean when the strong emotion has passed. The English language is constantly evolving and usage obliterates meanings with the passage of time.

References

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/mad

http://www.differencebetween.net/language/words-language/difference-between-upset-and-angry/#ixzz6bzgMK2J5

https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/got+mad+at+me

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