Are you an aspiring screenwriter?

There are a lot of new screen names around here lately. Sammyo, ADS, Ellroy Willis, Dancing Fingers, Bont, etc. Do you guys have what it takes to be aspiring screenwriters? Take this test and find out!
1. When is it proper to write "SMASH CUT" in a spec script?(a) When you want to indicate a transition from one camera shot to another.
(b) When your hero uses a smooth, one-two motion to punch the bad guy and slit his throat.
(c) Never.
(d) All of the above.
2. The hierarchy on a movie set is usually:(a) The writer is right up there with the director. (b) The writer is equal to the cinematographer.
(c) The writer is below the dialog coach.
(d) The writer reads about what things were like on the movie set in Premiere magazine.
3. You stay up all night pounding out your script because you arefueled by:
(a) Passion.
(b) Righteous indignation.
(c) A Jimmy Martin CD.
(d) A deep desire to stay away from the bedroom because your sleeping wife ate chili for dinner.
4. C
5. Most of your ideas for scripts come from:(a) The blue teletubby.
(b) Belfagore the Dog.
(c) Dead people who won't rest until you tell their stories. (d) Police Academy VI.
6. The best comedic films were written by:(a) Mel Brooks.
(b) Zucker-Abrams-Zucker.
(c) Simone de Beauvoir.
(d) Rossio & Elliott.
7. The best romantic comedy film of all time is:(a) Traffic.
(b) Signs.
(c) Ray.
(d) Lord of the Rings.
8. When you have finished writing the first 17 pages of your script,you should:
(a) Make sure the next story beat is a turning point. (b) Wrap up Act I and segue to Act II.
(c) Take a bathroom break.
(d) Throw your hands up in the air and wave 'em around like you just don't care.
9. "The Big Lebowski" is:(a) A penetrating meditation on the general ennui of post-millennial western culture.
(b) A guy thing.
10. You will know you're a real screenwriter when:(a) You type the words "FADE OUT" at the end of a full-length feature script.
(a) A producer sends you a note that says, "Nice writing, but not for us at this time."
(a) You get a check for a script you wrote.
(a) You can watch the results of your labor on TV. (a) You wrote the story for the film that jump-started Vin Diesel's career.
(a) You can write "screenwriter" in the "occupation" block of your income tax form.
11. D

ANSWER KEY
Give yourself two points for each "A" answer.
Give yourself five points for each "B" answer.
SCORE

50 points: Yay! You're an aspiring screenwriter!
75 points: You'll become an aspiring screenwriter after a couple morecaramel lattes.

100 points: Kill a mouse, watch some 'Canes football, and observe a fewautopsies. Jeff is not your lawyer.