Are these two sentences worded in the correct way?

FYI- Szass Tam is the lich and Nevron and his conjurors are part of the Council. When the Council of Zulkirs’ forces, including the surviving members of the Griffon Legion, moved to engage Szass Tam’s followers, Nevron and his conjurers summoned numerous fiendish and elemental entities, particularly denizens of the infernal oceans, to assist them. In the brutal battle that commenced between the two fleets, the aerial and sea combatants were evenly matched and could not gain an advantage over each other, but in the ship-to-ship fighting, the Council’s vessels fared better than their foes and defeated or destroyed many of the lich’s ships.