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Cboutin3 Posted 12 years ago
Grammar

Are these two sentences properly worded?

After months of investigation and experimentation resulted only in failure for Kara and her allies in discovering a way to stop the Rage, the song dragon was magically contacted by the vampiric smoke drake Brimstone while in Melvaunt, a city on the Moonsea’s northern shore. An agent of Sammaster until the lich realized that the disadvantages of vampires far outweighed their usefulness and discarded him, Brimstone’s only desire was to see Sammaster destroyed, and decided that aiding Kara would help achieve this.
  

Top answer

cboutin3 Sammaster until the lich realized that This confuses me. Perhaps less modifying is due here. Who is the agent of whom?

— Philip

  • cboutin3 Sammaster until the lich realized that This confuses me.
  • Perhaps less modifying is due here.
  • Who is the agent of whom?
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8 Answers
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cboutin3Sammaster until the lich realized that
This confuses me. Perhaps less modifying is due here. Who is the agent of whom?
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Thanks again for all your assistance. Sorry I wasn't clear, Sammaster is the lich, any suggestions on a better way to word the sentence or how about one of mine? 1. Brimstone had been an agent of Sammaster until the lich realized that the disadvantages of vampires far outweighed their usefulness and discarded him, and now his only desire was to see Sammaster destroyed, and he decided that aiding K
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Either of those is better than the original and clarifies things for me.
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Thanks again for all your help, which option do you think is a better choice?
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Okay thanks again for everything. I asked this question before and got some answers from someone else but I prefer your opinion, which of these options is clearer and a better choice? 1. Sammaster realized that his plans were threatened due to the metallic dragons emerging from seclusion to aid the forces of light while at the same time emissaries from Impiltur spread word across Faerûn about the
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I saw that response, and I think it was a good one..
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Okay awesome, I just wanted to make sure. Thanks again for everything.
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