Are these sentences worded in the correct way?

FYI- Aoth is the war mage and griffon rider. Meanwhile, Aoth and Brightwing were taken to the port city of Bezantur, but Dmitra and the other zulkirs decided to vivisect the war mage in an attempt to discover more about the azure fire and its effects. At the same time that Brightwing was poisoned to prevent her from aiding Aoth, a small group of soldiers tried to apprehend the griffon rider. After his altered vision revealed illusionary knives in the hands of the warriors sent to seize him, Aoth managed to incapacitate the soldiers despite his blindness, and Mirror, who had remembered how to use his god-given powers, then healed the battle mage’s eyes, leaving him with a superior ability of sight.