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Anonymous Posted 11 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Are these sentences perfect?

Ted walks over to his mini cooper, an old English car, which stands out against all of the modern American cars parked next to it. He has the pile of disordered research papers in hand, which look as though they are going to blow away in the strong wind. After a struggle, he eventually opens the door of his mini, and climbs inside, throwing his papers onto the back seat. He sits for a moment, takes a deep breath, places his hands on the steering wheel, and is startled by the noise of his ringing cell phone. While holding his cell phone, he looks at the name of the caller on the screen, and sees the name Miguel.

Could these sentences be changed to be even more perfect?
  

Top answer

Anonymous Are these sentences perfect? No. Mini Cooper is a proper noun, and it is not a particularly old car, I think.

  • Anonymous Are these sentences perfect?
  • No.
  • Mini Cooper is a proper noun, and it is not a particularly old car, I think.
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7 Answers
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AnonymousAre these sentences perfect?
No. Mini Cooper is a proper noun, and it is not a particularly old car, I think.
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The original Mini Cooper was introduced in 1961.
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Blue JayThe original Mini Cooper was introduced in 1961.
...and was produced until when?
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Until 2000 by BMW, I believe.
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Mister Micawber Blue JayThe original Mini Cooper was introduced in 1961....and was produced until when?
2000, although from 1971 to 1991 they were built under license by Innocenti and Authi in Italy and Spain rather than Austin in England. BMW introduced a new Mini Cooper in 2001.
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Blue JayBMW introduced a new Mini Cooper in 2001.
Then I wouldn't call it 'old' without explanation.
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Instead of "mini cooper, an old English car", "vintage Mini Cooper", assuming that anyone reading the sentence knows these cars and their history.

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