Are these sentences all worded in the correct way?

FYI- Doum'wielle is the half-drow. Afterward, Quenthel questioned Tos'un, who revealed that he had lived on the surface in the Silver Marches for over a century, but had decided to return to Menzoberranzan with his daughter. Tos'un also told Quenthel that Doum'wielle had murdered her brother, who had not followed Lolth, and he personally had killed the half-drow’s mother, the moon elf Sinnafein. Quenthel allowed Tos'un and Doum'wielle to join the party of dark elves accompanying her, and she then met with Tsabrak.