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Daden1789 Posted 17 years ago
Grammar

Are these senteces correct

Thirty Seconds over was written by Captain Ted Lawson and was edited by Robert Considine. This book is special because it was written by one of the members of the Doolittle Raid who survived the raid. Lawson goes into details about what he saw and was told during this attack. The United Stated planned a secret attack on the Japanese to get revenge. They wanted revenge because on , the Japanese secretly attack a naval base in . This military strike caught the Americans off guard because at the time, was thought to be the only enemy of the . This early morning attack caused the to be involved in World War II. To get there revenge on the Japanese, the planned a secret attack which is known as the Doolittle Raid. The Japanese had no idea what they had started. In the book, Lawson provides us when information about the raid. The three most important things in which he describes beautifully were the training, the attack on the cities, and the aftermath of the attack.
  

Top answer

The main problem with your essay is that you spend more than half of your paragraph giving the background of the attack (which is not accurate, by the way) and only in the last two sentences do you come back to the book. Change the first sentence to "... " Then tell us about the training, the attack, and the aftermath - and more importantly, how it affected the author.

  • The main problem with your essay is that you spend more than half of your paragraph giving the background of the attack (which is not accurate, by the way) and only in the last two sentences do you come back to the book.
  • Change the first sentence to "...
  • " Then tell us about the training, the attack, and the aftermath - and more importantly, how it affected the author.
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1 Answers
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The main problem with your essay is that you spend more than half of your paragraph giving the background of the attack (which is not accurate, by the way) and only in the last two sentences do you come back to the book.

Change the first sentence to "... the air attack on Tokyo in World War II known as the Doolittle Raid." and deleted everything after that until "In the book."

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