Are these couple sentences worded in the correct way?

FYI- Grumbar is the primordial. When the four companions arrived at Grumbar’s temple, they delivered the Eye of Gruumsh to the earth primordial, and Kleef then volunteered to sacrifice himself to save Arietta from having to offer her own life. Before Kleef could act, Malik tried to murder Arietta, and although he was stopped by Joelle, the Chosen of Sune lost her life. Joelle sacrificing herself to save Arietta activated Sune’s binding magic, tying Grumbar to Toril and thwarting Shar’s plans. After the magical ritual was completed and Grumbar destroyed the Eye, Malik left the temple, and he was soon followed by Kleef and Arietta.