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Cboutin3 Posted 12 years ago
Grammar

Are the subject pronouns clear?

Is it clear that the first 'she' refers to Flare and the second 'she' refers to Sara/the woman? Flare was devastated when Sara betrayed the Dark Knights in 378 AC, and she viewed the woman as a traitor when she left and tried to take her adoptive son, Steel Brightblade, with her.
  

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cboutin3 Is it clear that the first 'she' refers to Flare and the second 'she' refers to Sara/the woman? Flare was devastated when Sara betrayed the Dark Knights in 378 AC, and she viewed the woman as a traitor when she left and tried to take her adoptive son, Steel Brightblade, with her. No.

— Anonymous

  • cboutin3 Is it clear that the first 'she' refers to Flare and the second 'she' refers to Sara/the woman?
  • Flare was devastated when Sara betrayed the Dark Knights in 378 AC, and she viewed the woman as a traitor when she left and tried to take her adoptive son, Steel Brightblade, with her.
  • No.
  • To avoid ambiguity, it's better to use the name Sara instead of "she"; when Sara left and...
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4 Answers
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cboutin3 Is it clear that the first 'she' refers to Flare and the second 'she' refers to Sara/the woman? Flare was devastated when Sara betrayed the Dark Knights in 378 AC, and she viewed the woman as a traitor when she left and tried to take her adoptive son, Steel Brightblade, with her.
No. To avoid ambiguity, it's better to use the name Sara instead of "she
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Okay thanks, could I do this revision instead? Flare was devastated when Sara betrayed the Dark Knights in 378 AC, and viewed the woman as a traitor when she left and tried to take her adoptive son, Steel Brightblade, with her.
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cboutin3Okay thanks, could I do this revision instead? Flare was devastated when Sara betrayed the Dark Knights in 378 AC, and viewed the woman as a traitor when she left and tried to take her adoptive son, Steel Brightblade, with her.
No. There's still ambiguity there. In my opinion, the comma after 378 AC is redundant as the subject in both clauses (c
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Yeah I see what you mean, so would this sentence revision be clear? Flare was devastated when Sara betrayed the Dark Knights in 378 AC and viewed the woman as a traitor when she left and tried to take her adoptive son, Steel Brightblade, with her.
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