Are the above sentences fine/natural? And which words in bold should I use?

Question

It is an awesome and overwhelming feeling of appreciation to be able to witness the Grand Ceremony

commemorating the completion of the major renovation of the church.

I can truly feel the compassion of the pastor to rebuild / in rebuilding the church.

Are the above sentences fine/natural? And which words in bold should I use?

Thanks.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

I can truly feel the steadfast dedication of the pastor to rebuild the church.

Anonymous · Answer

I think that what might be tripping you up is all of the adjectives. If you make the message more concise, it's easier to spot the problems and make quick adjustments. Again, all of the editorializing and descriptive language here could be pared down.

Here's how I wrote one of these:

commemorating the completion of a major church building renovation. (Try to specify whether you're talking about Christ's Church or a church building whenever you can!)

Tamguatlay · Answer

AlpheccaStarsI can truly feel the steadfast dedication of the pastor to rebuild the church

AnonymousI think that what might be tripping you up is all of the adjectives. If you make the message more concise, it's easier to spot the problems and make quick adjustments. Again, all of the editorializing and descriptive language here could be pared down.Here's how I wrote one of these:commemorating the completion of a major church building renovation. (Try to specify whether you're talking about Christ's Church or a church building whenever you can!
It is an awesome and overwhelming feeling of appreciation to be able to witness the Grand Ceremony commemorating the completion of the major renovation of the church.
So the above sentence is fine? Thanks.

Are the above sentences fine/natural? And which words in bold should I use?

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