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Anonymous Posted 15 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Appreciate Suggestions on Improving Blurb
I'm writing a blurb for a book on English Dialects by Walter Skeat, a linguist at Cambridge University a century ago. I'd appreciate suggestions on what improvements could be made to the opening paragraph:
"In this masterpiece of philology, scholarly yet accessible, Walter Skeat (1835-1912) provides a biographical sketch of regional English. He traces the fascinating story of each dialect from early medieval times to the twentieth century, explaining how they were gradually shaped by local factors such as phonetic decay, together with foreign influences such as Danish, introduced through Viking invasions, and later Norman French, introduced following the Conquest of 1066."
Specifically, (1) is it too effusive? and (2) does the second sentence sound too crowded or imbalanced? If so I could just get rid of the extra information about Danish and French, like this:
"... He traces the fascinating story of each dialect from early medieval times to the twentieth century, explaining how local factors such as phonetic decay, and foreign influences such as Danish and later Norman French, helped to shape them."
But I'd prefer to include it if possible.
I'm new to this sort of thing, as you can see, so thanks in advance!
Sam
"In this masterpiece of philology, scholarly yet accessible, Walter Skeat (1835-1912) provides a biographical sketch of regional English. He traces the fascinating story of each dialect from early medieval times to the twentieth century, explaining how they were gradually shaped by local factors such as phonetic decay, together with foreign influences such as Danish, introduced through Viking invasions, and later Norman French, introduced following the Conquest of 1066."
Specifically, (1) is it too effusive? and (2) does the second sentence sound too crowded or imbalanced? If so I could just get rid of the extra information about Danish and French, like this:
"... He traces the fascinating story of each dialect from early medieval times to the twentieth century, explaining how local factors such as phonetic decay, and foreign influences such as Danish and later Norman French, helped to shape them."
But I'd prefer to include it if possible.
I'm new to this sort of thing, as you can see, so thanks in advance!
Sam
Top answer
I think that I would do something like this: In this masterpiece of philology, scholarly yet accessible, Walter Skeat (1835-1912) provides biographical sketches of regional English. He traces the fascinating story of each dialect from early medieval times to the twentieth century, showing how they were gradually shaped by such factors as local phonetic decay and the foreign influences of Danish, through Viking invasions, and Norman French, following the Conquest of 1066.
- I think that I would do something like this: In this masterpiece of philology, scholarly yet accessible, Walter Skeat (1835-1912) provides biographical sketches of regional English.
- He traces the fascinating story of each dialect from early medieval times to the twentieth century, showing how they were gradually shaped by such factors as local phonetic decay and the foreign influences of Danish, through Viking invasions, and Norman French, following the Conquest of 1066.
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2 Answers
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I think that I would do something like this:
In this masterpiece of philology, scholarly yet accessible, Walter Skeat (1835-1912) provides biographical sketches of regional English. He traces the fascinating story of each dialect from early medieval times to the twentieth century, showing how they were gradually shaped by such factors as local phonetic decay
In this masterpiece of philology, scholarly yet accessible, Walter Skeat (1835-1912) provides biographical sketches of regional English. He traces the fascinating story of each dialect from early medieval times to the twentieth century, showing how they were gradually shaped by such factors as local phonetic decay
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