Application letter

Question

Hi,Can someone plz tell me how to write a fee concession/assisstance application letter? It'll be better, if you give me some samples, too. Thank you

Clive · Accepted Answer

Hi,

The best thing is if you begin yourself by writing what you would say if you were talking face to face with the person responsible. Then we can offer you comments to improve your writing.

After all, only you know why you think you should receive assistance.

Clive

Mister Nutty · Answer

Hi again,

Will someone please take a look at the following letter for any grammar mistakes?

Thank you

___________________________________________________________________

(My Address)

Apartment Name

Area Name

City Name

Date

(Recipient's address)

The principal

University Name

Area Name

City Name

Dear Sir,

This is to state that I have completed my intermediation in pre-engineering, and now I want to pursue a degree in B.E. (telecom.) at your highly estimable university. Literally, since I was in elementary school I have been interested in telecommunication, and more recently, I have narrowed my goal to become a telecommunication engineer. It has always been my and mother’s wish that I study at your university, but financially I am not strong enough to afford such a massive amount of fees.

Thereby, I request you to assist me by giving me a concession of 50% at least.

Meanwhile, thank you and I assure you of my sincere and continuing efforts.

Great regards,

My Signature

My name

Mister Nutty · Answer

Now, could someone please have a look at the letter for mistakes?

Anonymous · Answer

Anyone there?

Mister Micawber · Answer

I'm here, Mr Nutty.

Full return mailing address

Date

Dean, College of ****
(or)
Chairman, Department of ****

University Name

Full mailing address

Dear Dr [Dean's/Chairman's surname]:

I have completed my ~~intermediation~~ (diploma? certificate?) in pre-engineering, and would like to pursue a BE (Telecommunications) degree at ABC University. I have always been interested in telecommunications, and more recently I have narrowed my goal to becoming a telecommunications engineer. Enclosed/attached are my educational records.

Since my family is unable to bear the full cost of tuition, could you advise me of any financial assistance available?
Thank you very much for your time and consideration.

Sincerely yours,

Signature
Name

Yankee · Answer

Hi Mr Nutty

Here is a suggestion for improvement. Rather than simply looking for grammar errors, I've done some rewording:

EDIT:
I see that Mister Micawber has also now replied. I like his suggestions too, and agree with his suggestion that you include your educational records.
__________________________________________________________________________________________

(My Address)

Apartment Name

Area Name

City Name

Date

(Recipient's address)

Dean of Admissions

University Name

Area Name

City Name

Dear (Name),

Having completed my pre-engineering coursework, I would now like to pursue a degree in B.E. (telecom.) at your esteemed. university. From the time I was in elementary school, I have been interested in telecommunications, and more recently, I have narrowed my goal to becoming an engineer in telecommunications.

It has also long been my dream to study at your university, but financially I am only in a position to cover, at most, about half of the costs. Therefore, I would like to ask what forms of financial assistance are available.

Thank you very much for your time and assistance.

Sincerely,

My Signature

My name

Mister Nutty · Answer

So, finally I got help. Thank you very much, Mister Micawber.

Full return mailing address Okay, as you say Sir.

Date Okay, as you say Sir.

Dean, College of **** Sorry, but, Sir, I've been asked to directly address the principal. Will it be wrong to do so?
(or)
Chairman, Department of ****

University Name

Full mailing address

Dear Dr [Dean's/Chairman's surname]: I don't know his name. Will it be wrong to say "Dear Sir"?

I have completed my ~~intermediation~~ (diploma? certificate?) [thank you again, Sir. Yes, it's a certificate. Can I say "H.S.C."?] in pre-engineering, and would like to pursue a BE (Telecommunications) degree at ABC [Do I have to use the university name here. I am confused a bit. When I have already mentioned it above in the address section, do I again need to mention it here?] University. I have always been interested in telecommunications, and more recently I have narrowed my goal to becoming a telecommunications engineer. Enclosed/attached are my educational records. [I've already provided them with all the necesarry documents and records.]

Since my family is unable to bear the full cost of tuition, could you advise me of any financial assistance available? [They have already given me a concession of 50% with the grace of ***, but they have still asked me to write an application letter for it as a red tape. I know for a fact that bluntly mentioning the desired concession is rude. Therefore, can I say "Since my family is unable to bear the full cost of tuition, could you please offer me some financial concession?"]

Thank you very much for your time and consideration.

Sincerely yours, [As I have told above, I don't know his name. Do I still need to use "sincerely yours", or should I use "faithfully yours" now?]

Signature

Name

Mister Nutty · Answer

Dear Yankee, thanks for your kind suggestions, too. I am very thankful to both of you for helping me. Thank you very much indeed.

YankeeHi Mr Nutty

Here is a suggestion for improvement. Rather than simply looking for grammar errors, I've done some rewording:

EDIT:
I see that Mister Micawber has also now replied. I like his suggestions too, and agree with his suggestion that you include your educational records.
__________________________________________________________________________________________

(My Address)

Apartment Name

Area Name

City Name

Date

(Recipient's address)

Dean of Admissions [I am aksed to directly address the principal, so can I write "the principal" here?]

University Name

Area Name

City Name

Dear (Name), [I know his name. Can I say "Dear Sir"?]

Having completed my pre-engineering coursework [Can I also say "H.S.C. in pre-engineering"?] , I would now like to pursue a degree in B.E. (telecom.) at your esteemed. university. From the time I was in elementary school, I have been interested in telecommunications, and more recently, I have narrowed my goal to becoming an engineer in telecommunications.

It has also long been my dream to study at your university, but financially I am only in a position to cover, at most, about half of the costs. Therefore, I would like to ask what forms of financial assistance are available. [In my country, there are usually no fees assisstance forms. They directly assist. So, can I say "Therefore, I would like to request financial assistance." or "Therefore, I would like to inquire into the possibility of obtaining an assisted place."?]

Thank you very much for your time and assistance.

Sincerely, [Sir, as I just mentioned I don't know the name of the principal, should I still write "sincerely", or do I now need to use "faithfully"?]

My Signature

My name

Mister Micawber · Answer

Dean, College of ****(or) Chairman, Department of **** Sorry, but, Sir, I've been asked to directly address the principal. Will it be wrong to do so? -- Universities in my country do not have principals; principals are heads of primary and secondary schools.

Dear Dr [Dean's/Chairman's surname]: I don't know his name. Will it be wrong to say "Dear Sir"?-- Only if you cannot manage to learn his/her name.

I have completed my ~~intermediation~~ (diploma? certificate?) [thank you again, Sir. Yes, it's a certificate. Can I say "H.S.C."?] -- it would be better to spell it out in full: High School Certificate (?)

in pre-engineering, and would like to pursue a BE (Telecommunications) degree at ABC University. [Do I have to use the university name here. I am confused a bit. When I have already mentioned it above in the address section, do I again need to mention it here?]-- Yes, use it again. 'Highly estimable' is simply fawning.

I have always been interested in telecommunications, and more recently I have narrowed my goal to becoming a telecommunications engineer. Enclosed/attached are my educational records. [I've already provided them with all the necesarry documents and records.] -- Then mention that fact here.

Since my family is unable to bear the full cost of tuition, could you advise me of any financial assistance available? [They have already given me a concession of 50% with the grace of ***, but they have still asked me to write an application letter for it as a red tape. I know for a fact that bluntly mentioning the desired concession is rude. Therefore, can I say "Since my family is unable to bear the full cost of tuition, could you please offer me some financial concession?"] -- 'Concession' is not a word I am familiar with in this context, but yes, use your sentence if it has been pre-arranged.

Sincerely yours, [As I have told above, I don't know his name. Do I still need to use "sincerely yours", or should I use "faithfully yours" now?]-- Yes, to be safe, use 'Faithfully yours', though few are aware of this fine point nowadays.

Yoong Liat · Answer

One minor point: In BrE it is Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully.

Application letter

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