Application for fee concession to the students welfare department ??

hey genius minds I wrote a draft application can anyone help me out?? I am writing an application to the student welfare department of the university because I cannot afford the semester fee structure & I want concession in the fees. I am to leave an application, but I want my application very strong enough to be called for further discussions.

The Students welfare department
Subject: Application for tuition waiver
Dear Sir/Madam,
I have been selected for the B.E programme, but for personal and financial reasons, my financial condition is very poor, and I am unable to pay full tuition for this program.
I would like to request a tuition waiver, and will be happy to submit full documentation to establish need. I shall spare no pains to prove myself worthy of it.
I look forward to your positive response and await your advice.
Yours sincerely,
XYZ
Date: July 18, 2014
Contact Number: -------