apologize to my children for not being thea for these past years

OK first of I I don't know how to write a letter I'm going to just type some stuff up I don't k ow when put a period or comma etc so I'm haskimg for help if anyone is willing to help it will help my character and believe build a stronger relationship with my kids well he a I go.....I will like to apologize for not being the ultimate dad but I believed I did a good job but anyways as my child's seen a lot speacily my attitude and Alcohol abuse not to my kids ya I did flip on you boys but not to hurt ya my behavior was due to your mom I will flip out. drunk scream brake the TVs laptops cellphones walls and even hurt your mother In front of you both and scare ya now I think about it. I lived it and witness being a child like you I witness the same things as you but I was blind from my anger alcohol abuse and ignorance I mentally and emotionality I hurt you both i m so sorry for all those event you will not forgive me but I intend to explain to you due to my bad decisions in life i f I could go back from n time I will fix my problems with your. mom and the things that destroyed our family I would but now I know we will have a stronger relationship as your both remember sure I was a top of the line father cause i always feed ya gave ya home clothing movies toys TV all that stuff all you could eat pizza buffet random vacation trips sleep in your crib with you so you will not feel alone morning walks on weekends so mom could rest more working on my cars rent a lot of those things I. know I could have been much better father to you by not effecting you children see me as a child I didn't have a father he left me so all this things I did with ya I enjoyed it all I feel like a big kid and could finally have a child life I didn't have with ya so I will love our relationship to get stronger and trusting I know it will be difficult seeing each other now due to my bad father behavior to your mother which I apologize she is a gorgeous strong intelligent full of life mom and I'm glad she is your mother cause you both have aswomeness like your mother I believe she is perfect and always will so ya looks are handsome I hope you boys will be able to. forgive me for NY bad behavior sons I promise to attend to love more and forever .......OK I wrote the letter and I know I don't know how to write and how to make this sound beneficial to were my children would u understand me plus I'm 29 and thea are 5-9 and I would like them to keep it and read it as thea grow I don't want it to sound all confuose and like dumb in book smart k someone help pls try and have a wonderful life adventure PS I wrote a letter earlier but I didnt know if it went threw so if something sound familiar its me ty bye