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Anonymous Posted 17 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Anything grammatically incorrect in this sentence?

"I have been tremendously appreciative towards you of the prompt adjustment you made in my grant amount, upon receiving my letter of September 5, 2009, in which I updated you on my reduced income."

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(I think the following was more grammatical:)

"I have been tremendously appreciative towards you of the prompt adjustment you made in my grant amount, upon your receiving my letter of September 5, 2009, in which I updated you on my reduced income."
//

(Still, I like neither versions. Any suggestions'll be greatly appreciated. The letter was mailed out some weeks ago, and I was trying to use this forum as online writing service. I just like to improve my writing ability.)
  

Top answer

" // (Still, I like neither versions. Any suggestions'll be greatly appreciated. The letter was mailed out some weeks ago, and I was trying to use this forum as online writing service.

  • " // (Still, I like neither versions.
  • Any suggestions'll be greatly appreciated.
  • The letter was mailed out some weeks ago, and I was trying to use this forum as online writing service.
  • ) You need to be more direct, in my opinion.
  • You are trying too hard to be 'fancy'.
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1 Answers
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Hi,

"I have been tremendously appreciative towards you of the prompt adjustment you made in my grant amount, upon receiving my letter of September 5, 2009, in which I updated you on my reduced income."

///

(I think the following was more grammatical:)

"I have been tremendously appreciative towards you of the prompt adjustment you made in my grant amount, upo

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