Anyone give me comments for my task 2 ielts writing. Please help me!

Topic: Many young people who leave school hold a negative attitude towards learning. why does this happen? What are the solutions?

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It is a harsh reality recently that there a large of students don’t satisfy with their education at school and have a negative attitude towards studying after they leave school. In the following paragraph, I discuss about some particular reasons of the phenomena and propose some solutions.

There are some reason why students leave school with disliking learning. First of all, from an individual perception, many students are not aware that it is important for them to study at school. They wonder that how the learning from school will be applied in realistic life and whether they could find a good job thanks to the knowledge or not. Hence, they hold a negative attitude toward learning at school, because of lacking clear goals and effects in their studies. Secondly, the school curriculum is usually too demanding. Apart from attending lectures at school, student are required to finish a large of assignments and group project, so they might feel stressed and exhausted after a intensively learning day. Gradually, they are against studying. Moving to the next point, student have to learn many unnecessary subjects that are not suitable to their future direction. For example, if a student want to become a singer in the future, she might not need attend in Physical or Chemistry class. Because, they doesn’t provide any benefit for her future job.

Fortunately, there are some way to tackle this problem. The first solution might be make lessons more interesting. For instance, visual ads such as video or smart tablet could help attract student’s attention. Secondly, learner should be choose these extracurricular subjects and curricular subject that suitable for their future direction. Besides, school should organize some consulting career programs for student and only provide the knowledge that they can apply for their future career. Therefore, studying would become a student’s hobby rather than an obligation and student have more motivation to learn.

In conclusion, school leavers tend to have a negative attitude towards learning because of some reasons, and solutions should be produced soon to tackle this issue.

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Thank you