Any teacher or proficient english speaker that can proofread and grade?

Hello users of EnglishForward,
I have been constructing an argumentative essay based on why marijuana should be legalized. Based on realia where i construct my paper based on english speaking countries and cultures. My teacher graded me an F on my paper, but as far as i can review my paper it looks like an B.
As i do not have enough trust for my teacher as he did prior misstakes by not looking deeply at the structure of my text on my previous assignments and the content. I am now seeking the help of any english teacher or any student that is proficient in english and is on a CA1 level. You can view my paper down below. Tips are also highly appreciated.

Cannabis Legalization

Introduction:
Some see cannabis as a treatment or as a cure to various diseases, others see it as a threat to society. Cannabis is said to be the most cultivated and illicit drug in the world and is estimated to be consumed by 147 million users around the world(Who.int, 2010). Yet alone in the United States, it was estimated to be consumed by 22.2 million citizens(NID, 2016)
That seems to be much higher than the 2.7 million illicit drug users residing in the United Kingdom
(NHS, 2016). The aim of this paper is to provide a fundamental understanding of effects and regulations concerning cannabis use and legalisation.

Main Body:

Views and impressions on cannabis use is commonly getting interpreted as a threat to society, both by the government and a majority of the population in the world.
As the truth remains intact primarily from the research posted on scientific journals that specialize in areas focusing towards psychology and neurology that marijuana use and the substance itself presents a broad arrange of healthy effects and treatment to various mental disorders and diseases, such as depression, anxiety and epilepsy(Gebler and Durkin, 2015).
Delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol(THC) that is the main substance in cannabis have been proved to counter bi-effects caused by chemotheraphy that is commonly used to treat cancer patients, current bi-effects that THC is being proposed to treat is vomiting and nausea(Cancer.org, 2015).
The U.K stands firmly positive to a reformation of the laws concerning cannabis use and to legalize marijuana substances such as CBD(Cannabiniod) as the MHRA(Medicines and healthcare products regulatory agency) reviewed the effects of CBD. Concluded from the results of the review the MHRA is taking a positive stand for cannabis legalization as the results showed treatment against various illnesses(Hooton, 2016).
Concerning the legalization in the United States, the future of legalization has already been begun in various states for medical and recreational purposes as of now there is 13 states that has applied laws that regulates cannabis use.(Rowley, 2016)

Combined by constructing regulations that forms barriers for sales and distribution centres for cannabis and to perish illegal organizations.
A proposed solution to drive out illegal organizations is to lower the prices, but raise the taxes depending on the cannabinoid levels.
this will be resulting in a non-compete against the government as illegal organizations will be out of business and thus blocking opportunities to make illegal marijuana available for the public(VAN OURS, 2012).
A clear example shown where marijuana is regulated and legal is in the United States in the state of Colorado. Citizens of colorado on the 6th october 2012, proposed a new amendment called “amendment 64” that proposes legalization of marijuana and regulations concerning intentions for the drug to be used as a treatment.

Discussed in amendment 64 was regulating the purchase of medical marijuana to the age of 21 and older, and that it should be applied with the same regulations that concerns alcohol, such examples can be to stop distribution and selling cannabis to minors and to not drive influenced by the drug. (city of fort collins, amendment 64, 2016). Unfortunately, the United Kingdom has not legalized any kind of marijuana.

Cannabis may treat various disorders, but users with cardiovascular diseases are not receiving benefits from the drug as the substance Delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol(THC) follows up with increases in pulse rates, blood pressures and in rare cases strokes, so before making more states and nations positive to a reformation to legalize marijuana, The states involved implement more resources to evaluate the drugs bi-effects. (Rezkalla, Stankowski and Kloner, 2016).
Also by Making the cannabis cheaper will only make prices of other drugs higher and therefore forward more users to synthetic drugs that results to making more profit to illegal organizations, because cannabis is considered as a getaway drug(NIDA, Marijuana, 2016).

Conclusion:
There are 147 million users annually around the world that consumes cannabis and of the 147 million users there is 22.7 million consumers residing in the United States, and 2.7 million in the United Kingdom.
Concluded there is a difference between the effects of cannabis, as cannabis is proven to be able to treat various mental disorders and other types of diseases such as anxiety, depression and epilepsy and counter bi-effects of chemotherapy.
There are still downsides for the legalization as it follows up with cardiovascular diseases such as stroke, increases in pulse rates and higher blood pressures. Lower prices and higher taxes should be depended on the cannabinoid levels to remove competition against the government and drive out illegal organizations. The legalization should also be depending on state regulations to counter illicit use.

Sources:
References
Cancer.org. (2015). Marijuana and Cancer. [online] Available at: http://www.cancer.org/treatment/treatmentsandsideeffects/physicalsideeffects/chemotherapyeffects/marijuana-and-cancer [Accessed 26 Dec. 2016].
city of fort collins, (2016). Amendment 64. City of fort collins: City of fort collins.
Content.digital.nhs.uk. (2016). Statistics on Drugs Misuse: England, 2016 [NS]. [online] Available at: http://content.digital.nhs.uk/catalogue/PUB21159 [Accessed 25 Dec. 2016].
Drugabuse.gov. (2016). What is the scope of marijuana use in the United States?. [online] Available at: https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/research-reports/marijuana/what-scope-marijuana-use-in-united-states [Accessed 24 Dec. 2016].
Gebler, S. and Durkin, A. (2015). Health Effects of Marijuana. Journal of Psychosocial Nursing and Mental Health Services, 53(2), pp.16-17.
hooton, C. (2016). UK government finally concedes cannabis has a medicinal effect. The independent. [online] Available at: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/cannabis-legality-uk-government-finally-admits-marijuana-has-a-medicinal-effect-a7355941.html#gallery [Accessed 26 Dec. 2016].
Rezkalla, S., Stankowski, R. and Kloner, R. (2016). Cardiovascular Effects of Marijuana. Journal of Cardiovascular Pharmacology and Therapeutics, 21(5), pp.452-455.
Rowley, L. (2016). Where Is Marijuana Legal in the United States? List of Recreational and Medicinal States. The mic. [online] Available at: https://mic.com/articles/126303/where-is-marijuana-legal-in-the-united-states-list-of-recreational-and-medicinal-states [Accessed 27 Dec. 2016].
VAN OURS, J. (2012). THE LONG AND WINDING ROAD TO CANNABIS LEGALIZATION. Addiction, 107(5), pp.872-873.
Who.int. (2010). WHO | Cannabis. [online] Available at: http://www.who.int/substance_abuse/facts/cannabis/en/ [Accessed 24 Dec. 2016].

Source criticism:
Source criticism will be classified in 2 categories, these are primary and second hand sources.

Primary Sources:

• World Health Organization: As the United Nations public arm towards humanitarian aid and public health, WHO assist and work in a wide array of areas globally. Therefore WHO should be considered as a primary source.

• Amendment 64: Amendment 64 is an initiative by the citizens of the state of Colorado to enforce a drug police considering the use of cannabis. Original copy of the motion concludes that the source is subjected to be classified as a primary source.

• Drugabuse.gov/ National Institue of drug abuse: As a government institute the sole mission is to research about drug abuses and consequences of drug abuse and to teach and inform the public. Therefore, as an government owned institute it is subjected to supervision by the government and is required to write and process academic researched with quality information.

• National Health Service: The NHS is the United Kingdom’s primary service to deliver information on how to benefit from the social care and provides and processs public health information.

• American Cancer Society: The american cancer society is an NGO that primary focuses towards cancer treatment and information related to cancer.

Secondary sources:
Secondary sources was hand picked from public journals that is under the supervision of editors and requires papers published by scholars with a certain academic degree. This strongholds the authenticity of the papers published as guidelines are in place as well as correct references processed from other papers.

Best regards, zagros