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Ahmedm Posted 17 years ago
Grammar
Any one can help me to correct this.
Please correct my sentence.
"Thanks for the accepting my invitation at linkedin, I really enthuse with your profile. Now I’m currently working in Mobilink GSM ( An Orascom Telecom Company) in Pakistan Lahore as a Country-wide Data Center Manager. For the next month I’ll going to Malaysia Penang for attending the Data Center round table seminar which is arranged by Intel.
I have also plan to take stop over at Dubai. I’d appreciate if you could give me a time slot for the cup of tea.
I’d really appreciate if we exchange our views regarding the Data centers operations & maintenance."
Thanks,
MA
"Thanks for the accepting my invitation at linkedin, I really enthuse with your profile. Now I’m currently working in Mobilink GSM ( An Orascom Telecom Company) in Pakistan Lahore as a Country-wide Data Center Manager. For the next month I’ll going to Malaysia Penang for attending the Data Center round table seminar which is arranged by Intel.
I have also plan to take stop over at Dubai. I’d appreciate if you could give me a time slot for the cup of tea.
I’d really appreciate if we exchange our views regarding the Data centers operations & maintenance."
Thanks,
MA
Top answer
Thanks for accepting my invitation at Linkedin . I am really enthused by your profile. Now I'm currently working at Mobilink GSM (An Orascom Telecom company ) in Pakistan Lahore as a Countrywide Data Center Manager.
- Thanks for accepting my invitation at Linkedin .
- I am really enthused by your profile.
- Now I'm currently working at Mobilink GSM (An Orascom Telecom company ) in Pakistan Lahore as a Countrywide Data Center Manager.
- Next month I'll be going to Penang, Malaysia, to attend a data center roundtable seminar arranged by Intel.
- I also plan to stop over at Dubai.
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6 Answers
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Thanks for accepting my invitation at Linkedin. I am really enthused by your profile. Now I'm currently working at Mobilink GSM (An Orascom Telecom company) in Pakistan Lahore as a Countrywide Data Center Manager.
Next month I'll be going to Penang, Malaysia, to attend a data center roundtable seminar arranged b
Next month I'll be going to Penang, Malaysia, to attend a data center roundtable seminar arranged b
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Dear MA,
I am not clear about the first part of your missive. Are you thanking someone for accepting your invitation- via a website- to an event or to a place? And you seem to be impressed with this person's (or company's?) description of ___? Consequently, I don't really know how to clarify what you want to say, just yet. However, here are my suggestions for the remainder:
I am not clear about the first part of your missive. Are you thanking someone for accepting your invitation- via a website- to an event or to a place? And you seem to be impressed with this person's (or company's?) description of ___? Consequently, I don't really know how to clarify what you want to say, just yet. However, here are my suggestions for the remainder:
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Hi,
Thank you for the help, let me explain my first part. He accepted my linkedin invitation request and I want to send thank you note OK! secontly I really impress his professional exposer profile on linkedin.
second para is perfectly ok from side and you have explain in a very professional language but I can't understand your last line of "dash". Can you please explain it.
Thank you for the help, let me explain my first part. He accepted my linkedin invitation request and I want to send thank you note OK! secontly I really impress his professional exposer profile on linkedin.
second para is perfectly ok from side and you have explain in a very professional language but I can't understand your last line of "dash". Can you please explain it.
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second para is perfectly ok from sideThe second paragraph is not OK– it has three spelling mistakes and is in mixed registers.
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