Any mistakes, please?

Question

Please, are there any mistakes here?You’ll breathe better if you use this ointment.My memory will improve if I exercise the brain. We’ll be able to join the group if we try out.She’ll be a great painter if she puts her mind to her paintings. He’ll build up a fortune if he saves up a lot of money.They’ll be a success if they put on a show. They’ll check the instruments out, if they can afford to buy them.The vegetation will die if the weather is dry this year. They’ll have to use a lantern if it is dark tonight. I’ll have to wear a coat if it is windy tomorrow.Thank you,Dalton

Avangi · Accepted Answer

Anonymous You’ll breathe better if you use this ointment. okay

My memory will improve if I exercise the brain. Okay, but I think "my brain" is a bit more natural here.

We’ll be able to join the group if we try out. Okay. (sounds a bit optimistic)

She’ll be a great painter if she puts her mind to her paintings. Okay, but I think "to her work / painting" is more natural.

He’ll build up a fortune if he saves up a lot of money. Okay. (simplistic, or redundant) The "up's" are low register style.

They’ll be a success if they put on a show. Okay. (sounds a bit optimistic)

They’ll check the instruments out, if they can afford to buy them. Okay. A bit unnatural. "They'll check the prices on the instruments. If the prices are reasonable, they'll try some of them out."

The vegetation will die if the weather is dry this year. Okay. "remains dry" would be more common.

They’ll have to use a lantern if it is dark tonight. Okay.

I’ll have to wear a coat if it is windy tomorrow. Okay. (The last two would seem a bit more natural if the clauses were reversed.)

Edit. MrM's is more natural on the one about the instruments!

Mister Micawber · Answer

My memory will improve if I exercise my brain.

She’ll be a great painter if she puts her mind to her painting.

They’ll check the instruments out if they think they can afford to buy them.
.

Anonymous · Answer

Thanks, Avangi! But:

My memory will improve if I exercise the brain. Okay, but I think "my brain" is a bit more natural here.

Okay . But so my answer would be: My memory will improve if I exercise my brain. Wouldn’t it be a bit odd in this case?Besides, it seems a little bit redundant because when I say the brain, of course that I’m referring to my brain. How could my memory improves exercising the brain of someone else?

Using “remains dry” as you said and joining these two sentences below, would my answer be correct, please?

The weather might remain dry this year. The vegetation will die.

Answer = The vegetation will die if the weather remains dry this year.

Anonymous · Answer

Thank you, Mister Micawber. But:

Okay. I would like to add your suggestion “...think they”. But how can I do it joining these two sentences below:

They might afford to buy the instruments. They’ll check the instruments out.

Answer - They’ll check the instruments out, if they afford to buy them.

Mister Micawber · Answer

.

They might afford to buy the instruments. They’ll check the instruments out.

The problem is that the original is not natural. The idea is (I presume) that "they will check their savings first, and then if they have enough money to pay the known prices, they will go to the music shop to examine the instruments more closely". It should read:

They might be able to afford to buy the instruments. They’ll check the instruments out.

The answer would then be: They’ll check the instruments out, if they can afford to buy them.
.

Mister Micawber · Answer

.
PS:

I'll let Avangi expand on your question, but I will tell you that my memory and my brain is the natural way to express this in your sentence.
.

Avangi · Answer

Anonymous My memory will improve if I exercise the brain. Okay, but I think "my brain" is a bit more natural here.

Okay . But so my answer would be: My memory will improve if I exercise my brain. Wouldn’t it be a bit odd in this case?Besides, it seems a little bit redundant because when I say the brain, of course that I’m referring to my brain. How could my memory improves exercising the brain of someone else? I'm struggling with a Lewis Carroll poem which my friend famously set to music -

"You are old, Father William," the young man said,/ "And your hair has become very white./ And yet you incessantly stand on your head./Do you think at your age it is right?"
"In my youth," Father William replied to his son,/ "I feared it would injure the brain./ But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,/ Why, I do it again and again!"

Mr. Carroll surely could have used "my brain" had he chosen, but somehow "the brain" seems right here. Why?? (I dunno.)

You've got to stop drinking, Dad. It's bad for the liver! (reply) My liver is fine!

In this case it's clear. "The liver" is used in referring to a general principle. "My liver" refers to a specific case, offering a counter example.

This example may help somewhat in solving our problem: The general vs the specific. When we wish to focus on something about me, use "my." When we wish to focus in an impersonal way on facts about the anatomy, even though those facts may refer specifically to me, use "the."
In 1950 I broke my leg in a ski race. The tibia and the fibula were both separated at the break, but the fracture was not compound(ed). My back gave me a lot of trouble during my recovery. (In these two sentences, all the "my's" after the first could be replaced by "the's," but "my" is more natural.)

Re your stated objection, I don't think it's common practice to avoid repeating "my" simply because the reader may perform a logical process and induce who's X we're talking about. It's not much more offensive than repeating "the." I'll grant you it's difficult (when not intimate with the language) to determine which redundancies are offensive and which are not.

I accidently backed my car into a truck. There was no damage to the truck, but it made a mess of my car. Must we replace "my car" with "the car" simply because it's obvious whose car we're talking about?
Anonymous Using “remains dry” as you said and joining these two sentences below, would my answer be correct, please?
The weather might remain dry this year. The vegetation will die.

Answer = The vegetation will die if the weather remains dry this year. This is okay. As in the cases of a couple of the others, I feel the intended message is better conveyed with the proper "impact" by reversing the clauses: If the weather remains dry this year, the vegetation will die.

- A.

Anonymous · Answer

Avangi

Thank you very much for all your kindness in explaining my questions

. For sure it won't be so easy to determine which redundancies are "obvious" and which are not, but in general I understood what you told me.

Many thanks again! Best wishes,
Dalton

Anonymous · Answer

Thank you for your reply, Mister Micawber!

Best wishes,
Dalton

Anonymous · Answer

Thank you, Mister! I understood that it's not wrong, but simply not a natural way to express my idea.

Best wishes,
Dalton

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