any inapropriate words in my sentence?

Question

Group Chairman Ni Hanming said:" The jewelry industry of MKH.Group targets at the high-end market. Apart from its own development, MKH.Group dedicates in promoting the jewelry culture. Lu Ruihua said that many reform policies in Shenzhen during his term were implemented and achieved by Chairman Ni and other outstanding examples. The booming development of Shenzhen culture industry benefits by those excellent private entrepreneurs, and that's why Baoan district greatly embodied the effectiveness of the reform policies. Lu Ruihua hopes Chairman Ni keep setting himself an example to others, promoting the development of the jewelry culture and devoting more to Shenzhen cultural undertakings in the future.

KrisBlueNZ · Accepted Answer

Group Chairman Ni Hanming said: "The jewelry industry of MKH Group targets at the high-end market.

You need to get the spacing right around the punctuation. There's always a space after a colon, and no space between the opening quote and the start of the sentence being quoted.
You shouldn't write MKH.Group. There's supposed to be a space after a period. I would write it with no period, and one space: MKH Group. If you insist on having a period in there, you should write it MKH. Group, i.e. a space after the period.
You can't target at. You can aim at, but target. as a verb, effectively includes the at. So you target the market.
I wouldn't say the high-end market; I would say "the high end of the market" or "the top end of the market".

Apart from its own development, MKH.Group ~~dedicates in~~ is dedicated to promoting ~~the~~ jewelry culture.

You can't say "dedicates in promoting"; you can say "is dedicated to promoting". (You could also say "dedicates itself to promoting" but that implies that this is the main function of the group, which is not the case.)
A specific "culture" (of any type) does not normally have the definite article, the, before it.
I would start that sentence with As well as, or In addition to, not Apart from.

Lu Ruihua said that many reform policies in Shenzhen during his term were implemented and achieved by Chairman Ni and other outstanding examples.

What do you mean by other outstanding examples? The way you have written that sentence, other outstanding examples is joined with Chairman Ni through the word and. Chairman Ni is an executive of the company, I guess. If the other outstanding examples are other executives, or other people, you should say other outstanding executives or other outstanding company officials or other outstanding individuals.

The booming development of the Shenzhen culture industry benefits by from those excellent private entrepreneurs, and ~~that's~~ that is or this is why the Baoan district greatly ~~embodied~~ perhaps you mean embraced the effectiveness of the reform policies.

Shenzhen culture industry doesn't have a clear meaning. Perhaps you could say the Shenzhen jewelry industry. And a specific industry has the definite article, the, before it.
those excellent private entrepeneurs should probably be these excellent private entrepeneurs. This is because you have just mentioned them at the end of the previous sentence, so these is more appropriate. I can't explain the rule for this, sorry!
Baoan district should be the Baoan district.
Look up the dictionary entries for embody and embrace to see the difference and decide which is most appropriate.

Lu Ruihua hopes Chairman Ni keep setting himself an example to others, promoting the development of the jewelry culture and devoting more to Shenzhen cultural undertakings in the future.

... hopes Chairman Ni keep setting himself... is wrong; you must say either ... hopes Chairman Ni will keep setting himself... or ... hopes Charman Ni keeps setting himself...
A more formal way to express this would be ... hopes Chairman Ni continues to set himself... or ... hopes Chairman Ni will continue to set himself...

You can't really say set himself an example to others. You can say set an example to others. This idiom includes the idea that it is Chairman Ni himself who will set the example.
The jewelry culture should probably not have the definite article the. Perhaps it would be better to replace the whole phrase with the Shenzhen jewelry industry or just the jewelry industry.

devoting more to is a bit unclear. You would usually say what he would be devoting more of. For example, devoting more resources to, or devoting more money to, or whatever.

You need to become more familiar with when articles (a, the) are and aren't used. I guess that in your native language, they do not exist at all. The rules in English sometimes obey convention rather than strict rules, or perhaps the rules are very complicated and have many exceptions. Perhaps you should try to focus on how, and when, articles are used by native English speakers, and try to develop a "feeling" for what sounds right.

Don't feel bad about the number of corrections. I'm pretty fussy. Your article is quite good generally.

Lisalee · Answer

thank you very much,it really helps.

any inapropriate words in my sentence?

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