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Anonymous Posted 11 years ago
Grammar

Any flaws in here?

Hi!

Are there any flaws in here? Mistakes? Clumsy parts?

Glamour means something different for each of us. For some, it means chic, beauty, uniqueness, mysteriousness, and luxury, but for the others, it means splendor, the most expensive things, and masterpieces created by the favorite designers, and yet for other people it means sensuous beauty, full with charm and temptation. Raise the value of your life and fill your surrounding and every day with glamour.

Thanks!
  

Top answer

The length of the sentence makes it a bit awkward, but it isn't incorrect. Semi-colons might help the "relentlessness" of the narrative. Suggestions: mysteriousness ~ mystery; but for the others; by the favorite designers; full with of charm.

— Philip

  • The length of the sentence makes it a bit awkward, but it isn't incorrect.
  • Semi-colons might help the "relentlessness" of the narrative.
  • Suggestions: mysteriousness ~ mystery; but for the others; by the favorite designers; full with of charm.
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1 Answers
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The length of the sentence makes it a bit awkward, but it isn't incorrect. Semi-colons might help the "relentlessness" of the narrative. Suggestions: mysteriousness ~ mystery; but for the others; by the favorite designers; full with of charm.
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