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Masanori Takaoka Posted 11 years ago
Grammar

Any corrections? (no.2)

But Ged seemed most unwilling to use his craft, or to let Vetch use his. He said only, “It’s better not,” and his friend did not ask or argue. For as the wind first filled their sail, both had felt a heavy foreboding, cold as that winter wind. Haven, harbor, peace, safety, all that was behind. They went now a way in which all events were perilous, and no acts were meaningless. On the course on which they were embarked, the saying of the least spell might chance and move the balance of power and of doom: for they went now towards the very centre of that balance, towards the place where light and darkness meet. Those who travel thus say no word carelessly.
  

Top answer

I feel that “For and as” need to be separated with a comma. Also, after the list, “Haven, harbor, peace, safety” something stronger than a comma is needed— such as an em-dash or a colon.

  • I feel that “For and as” need to be separated with a comma.
  • Also, after the list, “Haven, harbor, peace, safety” something stronger than a comma is needed— such as an em-dash or a colon.
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1 Answers
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I feel that “For and as” need to be separated with a comma. Also, after the list, “Haven, harbor, peace, safety” something stronger than a comma is needed— such as an em-dash or a colon.

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