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Anonymous Posted 20 years ago
Letter Writing
Another work certificate
Hi, may I again request a helpfull eye for the following letter?
help/suggestions are very much appreciated.
Thanks in advance
To whom it may concern
This is to certify that Mr. *** was employed as an Administrative Manager by xyz from January ‘** until October ’** in ahem, *atsiou . The company has a dual role in the commercial life of *wherever acting both as a Publishing house and a Merchant/Importer of typographic paper.
Mr. *** managed various activities during our collaboration. First of all the design and application of a system that archived and handled receipts, invoices and various other documents referring to the company’s financial activity. Using both electronic and traditional methods, the system was designed as an expandable foundation for the growing needs of the Company. It roughly consisted of a relational database management system and a complex but straightforward archive of the documents themselves. His other responsibilities were handling clients and suppliers and various support functions. [color=blue](Does this seem a little lacking?)[/color]
About Mr. ***’ person I must state that he is eager and persistent with his duties, in addition to being thorough and consistent in his research. He has worked efficiently with sales and accounting for the evolution of the management system as well as investing many hours of personal work in the various quirks and problems that arose during its implementation. Furthermore I would like to add that he is courteous, forthcoming and discreet. [color=blue](how can I rephrase or add to the above in order to sound a little more emotional?)[/color]
Due to his skills and hard work, I wish him the best of luck.
Yours sincerely
*****
President
help/suggestions are very much appreciated.
Thanks in advance
To whom it may concern
This is to certify that Mr. *** was employed as an Administrative Manager by xyz from January ‘** until October ’** in ahem, *atsiou . The company has a dual role in the commercial life of *wherever acting both as a Publishing house and a Merchant/Importer of typographic paper.
Mr. *** managed various activities during our collaboration. First of all the design and application of a system that archived and handled receipts, invoices and various other documents referring to the company’s financial activity. Using both electronic and traditional methods, the system was designed as an expandable foundation for the growing needs of the Company. It roughly consisted of a relational database management system and a complex but straightforward archive of the documents themselves. His other responsibilities were handling clients and suppliers and various support functions. [color=blue](Does this seem a little lacking?)[/color]
About Mr. ***’ person I must state that he is eager and persistent with his duties, in addition to being thorough and consistent in his research. He has worked efficiently with sales and accounting for the evolution of the management system as well as investing many hours of personal work in the various quirks and problems that arose during its implementation. Furthermore I would like to add that he is courteous, forthcoming and discreet. [color=blue](how can I rephrase or add to the above in order to sound a little more emotional?)[/color]
Due to his skills and hard work, I wish him the best of luck.
Yours sincerely
*****
President
Top answer
Looks good to me apart from a few word choices in the second paragraph. Business letters are not supposed to sound 'emotional'. collaboration - equals collaborate, employers and employees don't collaborate.
- Looks good to me apart from a few word choices in the second paragraph.
- Business letters are not supposed to sound 'emotional'.
- collaboration - equals collaborate, employers and employees don't collaborate.
- roughly - either cut out entirely or use 'basically'.
- complex but straightforward - this is contradictory
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4 Answers
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Looks good to me apart from a few word choices in the second paragraph. Business letters are not supposed to sound 'emotional'.
collaboration - equals collaborate, employers and employees don't collaborate.
roughly - either cut out entirely or use 'basically'.
complex but straightforward - this is contradictory
collaboration - equals collaborate, employers and employees don't collaborate.
roughly - either cut out entirely or use 'basically'.
complex but straightforward - this is contradictory
00
Maybe a more appropriate word for 'collaboration' is co-operation ?
'basically' is a good suggestion thanks.
for the last part 'a complex structured but straightforward in use' does that sound a little better?
Thank for your help and reply.
'basically' is a good suggestion thanks.
for the last part 'a complex structured but straightforward in use' does that sound a little better?
Thank for your help and reply.
00
yes your last suggestion is good except it needs to be 'a complex structure...'
00
Ok Nona, I believe the letter is in good condition.
Thanks a lot for your assistance.
Best wishes
Thanks a lot for your assistance.
Best wishes
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