Another tense sequence in a conditional sentence

Question

If you practice this series [of exercises] regularly, you will gradually experience more freedom from pain as you repair the root causes of your pain over time.My technical writing teacher says will should not be in the sentence. It sounds wrong to me without it.May I have your opinions, please?For extra credit, is over time redundant? My teacher didn't flag this as a problem, but there are three temporal adverbs in that sentence, not counting as.Thanks in advance,yogaman

BarbaraPA · Accepted Answer

I can't imagine why your teacher wouldn't think the "If you practice ... you will experience" pattern is correct.

The "When you... you experience" pattern would also be correct - perhaps she misread it?

I don't find the over time a problem because it really emphasizes that the person shouldn't expect immediate improvement; however, with the word "gradually" already there, I can see how some might find it redundant.

What I don't like the repeated "pain" so close together, but I don't have a quick fix.

Anonymous · Answer

Thank you, Guru Geek. I appreciate your support.

My teacher's emphatic claim is that for instruction manuals, such as the assignment for which this introductory statement was drafted, the construction if you do..., you get... is how her previous editors have instructed her. She hammers home the removal of unnecessary future tense. This isn't the grammar rule I thought I learned, lo, those many decades past, but then comma before and in a list seems to have been eliminated and brought back since I learned my readin' and writin', and two spaces after period seems to have gone away for good, so I know rules are made to be bent.

I shouldn't leave you with the impression that ny teacher only criticizes. She did give my manual the highest score in the class on this draft, and she was kind enough to write, "Good writing overall," in the margin. To resolve the future tense issue, I think I'll just do what she says for the grade, then ignore her opinion unless I later meet many more like her.

In case you're curious, I've become comfortable with all those temporal modifiers; I think each adverb modifies a different verb, and together they convey an appropriate emphasis.

Thank you for pointing out the nearly adjacent occurences of pain. I now feel your pain, but am similarly at a loss.

This one sentence seems to have enough yellow flags that it's probably worth revisiting in a few days, if I can find the time.

Thanks again.

Regards,
yogaman

Another tense sequence in a conditional sentence

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions