Another motivational letter for Masters

Hi everyone
I am applying for a masters starting 2016 and have a first version of my letter ready and would like some advice.
First do you think the writting is clear and concise? I hava a tendency to write complicated sentences ha
Secondly what do you reckon on the contets? Am I specific enough? Should I talk more about my school education as I have seen other people do. Should I include more on my hobbies? I am quiet motivated to study this and read about it a lot, watch documentaries and have done some open courses on coursera that are related and so on, wasnt sure on how to include this and get it across though especially since you cant really proof it (didnt pay for the certificates on coursera). Also do you reckon I should try to be more specific on areas that interest me, research topics and so on? Also I am not really sure where I want my career to go yet but I know you are supposed to say what you want, does it come across as specific enough?

Any advice is very much appreciated, thanks in advance!

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writting to you because I would like to enroll in the Master’s Degree Program in Water Science and Management starting in September 2016, persuing the Enivornmental Science track. I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in Civil Engineering from the University of xxx (UK, 2014). Based on my eduation and work experience I believe that I am a suitable candidate for the program and hope to convince you of my capabilites in the following letter.

The reason I pursued undergraduate studies in Civil Engineering was because I believed it to be the discipline that shapes the world around us. My studies not only developed my problem solving skills and deepened my knowledge in a variety of fields, they also led me to find a passion for hydrology. Once I find interesting problems I fully commit to understanding and solving them, which is why in modules such as ‘Environmental Hydraulics’ and ‘Water Treatment and Management’ my average grades exceeded 90%. Further research into Water Science and Environmental issues focused my desire into shaping a sustainable world that could prevail, in which we live in equilibrium with our most valuable resource, water.

I would like to study at xxx University because the research institute is organized according to strategic themes indicating to me that the institution is progressive and aims to find innovative solutions to the wicked problems of the 21st century.
I would like to live in Utrecht as I very much enjoy the atmosphere of small student cities that are a busy all year long with a large variety of student activities, just as Dundee was. And what better country to study water science and management in than a country that has public companies providing universal access to water supply and sanitation in good quality?
Since graduation I have been reading extensively and informing myself about the complicated relationship between mankind and water in the earth system. Books, such as Water Follie’s by Robert Jerome Glennon highlighted to me how interwoven our water consumption is with our economic system and social customs. As a consequence after reading the course outline for the Water Science and Management master’s I am convinced the programme would provide me with the opportunity to learn further and deepen my understanding of the topic while approaching it from various perspectives. The ability to study science, management and governance aspects was key to my choice of this interdisciplinary programme.

I want to take the Environmental Science track because the module Sustainability Science: Modelling and Indicators is appealing. Sustainability is becoming not only an important aspect in everything we do, but a guide to how we should do things. For this reason I would like to learn how to use software to map out the interaction of the various factors, which I believe will also deepen my knowledge on local and international sustainability issues. I am also very interested in Ecosystem modelling, as on one hand I find the various ecosystems to be found in water fascinating and on the other hand I enjoy numerical modelling with Matlab and would like to learn more about it. For my bachelor thesis “Numerical study of tsunami generation and propagation” I used Matlab to format the input and output data, having to learn it by myself was challenging but also very rewarding. The other course I am very interested in is Managing Future Deltas. Being a volunteer in the Consorci Delta del Lobregat I have realised that there are so many different aspects to deltas: they are incredibly rich and diverse and hence numerous parties have interests in them. The management of the interested parties while realising and preserving the delta sounds very appealing to me.
My academic performance averages 90% and over, including my Bachelor thesis for which I was awarded an A1. After university I wanted to gain practical knowledge, which is why I searched for an internship in a water related field. I was accepted to work for Hölscher Wasserbau, a German dewatering company working on the new metro line (Metro Cityringen) and the Nyhaven project in Copenhagen. The 5 month long experience taught me about the installation and maintenance of large scale pumping systems, how they are influenced by local geology and its variations, advanced monitoring software (SCADA), water pollution and effective treatment and many more administrative aspects of the project.
My interest in the field also shows through the extra-curricular activities I have been and am involved with. By helping start an Engineers Without Borders branch at Dundee University and organising events to raise funds for RedR and awareness about issues such as lack of toilets and basic sanitation in developing countries, I wanted to explore the potential of engineering in humanitarian aid. Furthermore as class representative and treasurer of the School of Engineering Physics and Mathematics I was part of a team with the goal of establishing a sense of community to increase open discussion and interdisciplinary interaction.
While working in Barcelona to raise funds to go backpacking across New Zealand, where I plan to do some WWOFING, I volunteered in different events such as Park(ing) day and fair for economic solidarity.

Looking back at 2010 when I left home full of excitement to undertake my undergraduate studies I realize that the experience made me grow and evolve in many ways. Not only did I learn a lot academically but my teachers and friends from all around the world opened my mind to so many new concepts, points of view and ideas. Gaining work experience and traveling since graduation has allowed me to assess what I have learned, further develop and determine what direction I want to take in my professional life. Ten years from now, I envisage myself working as a hydrologist within a consultancy firm or water research institute with an international development focus. As I embark on my journey to reach that goal, I am convinced that your postgraduate course will provide me with all the necessary tools and experience to allow me to become an innovative and successful professional.

In summary I believe that I have the required qualities for this course because, having graduated top of my class in Civil Engineering proves that I am committed and hardworking. My bachelor thesis made me develop my problem solving skills and abilities to tackle and manage a big task. I love being outdoors exploring nature and would relish the opportunity to further understand the environment, especially the aquatic habitat. Having grown up trilingual in English, Spanish and German and lived in the UK, Spain and Denmark I am an open minded and internationally orientated person.

I believe I could be a valuable member of your team and make a significant contribution. Thank you very much for considering my application. I look forward to your positive response.

Best regards,