Analytical essays

Question

First of all, I do appriciate EnglishForward.com founder and all of moderators work here.

I have two analytical essays for my English 1301 or COMP I class.
I need help to revise it because I think the lanaguage and grammer are not okay.

Here is paragraph 1:

"What is Poverty?" by Jo Goodwin Parker is a referential interpretation of poverty, who the poor are and how society's stereotype is injustice. Parker successfully describes poor people’s problems and the point of view that society has for people who live in poverty. Parker uses connotative language to create unpleasant images in her readers’ mind to feel guilty about stereotype and she strongly hates pathos “listen to my problems, I do not want your money.” In the other essay, "Am I Blue?" Alice Walker, a black woman, shows the black slavery, woman isolation and animals' imprisonment by telling a story about a white horse named "Blue" who is fenced by her neighbor. "Am I Blue?" is an argumentative essay. It means tries to change the reader's mind by rational appeals about animal rights and slavery "If I had been born into slavery, and my partner had been sold or killed, my eyes would have looked like that."

Nona the brit · Accepted Answer

Hi, Welcome to the forum.

"What is Poverty?" by Jo Goodwin Parker is a referential interpretation of poverty, who the poor are and how society's stereotype is unjust. Parker successfully describes poor people’s problems and the view that society has of people who live in poverty. Parker uses connotative language to create unpleasant images in her readers’ minds to make them feel guilty about stereotyping and she strongly hates pathos “listen to my problems, I do not want your money.” In the other essay, "Am I Blue?" Alice Walker, a black woman, shows black slavery, women's isolation and animals' imprisonment by telling a story about a white horse named "Blue" who is fenced by her neighbor. "Am I Blue?" is an argumentative essay. It means Walker tries to change the reader's mind by rational appeals about animal rights and slavery "If I had been born into slavery, and my partner had been sold or killed, my eyes would have looked like that."

Mehrdadsin · Answer

Thanks for first paragraph, here is the paragraph 2:
successfully attracts the reader with a narration technique in the first two paragraphs by describing the small house in a beautiful place, but her voice of anger and concern toward animal's right and black slavery would appear in the rest of essay. At first glance, reader may think 's purpose is literary, but the closer look would reveal her primary purpose is persuasive to make the reader guilty toward animals. She usefully changes her voice in different times during the essay to give some opportunities to the reader to think about animals’ rights. makes a persuasive claim that there is some human’s quality in animals. "I had forgotten that human animals and nonhuman animals can communicate quite well. " And in trying to persuade the reader to think about animal rights, she uses both rational and emotional appeals. "He looked always and always toward the road down which his partner had gone."

Nona the brit · Answer

I've highlighted the errors for you to have a go at fixing them yourself...after all, this is your coursework

Walker successfully attracts the reader with a narration technique in the first two paragraphs by describing the small house in a beautiful place, but her voice of anger and concern toward animal's right and black slavery would appear in the rest of essay. At first glance, reader may think Walker's purpose is literary, but the closer look would reveal her primary purpose is persuasive to make the reader guilty toward animals. She usefully changes her voice in different times during the essay to give some opportunities to the reader to think about animals’ rights. Walker makes a persuasive claim that there is some human’s quality in animals. "I had forgotten that human animals and nonhuman animals can communicate quite well. " And in trying to persuade the reader to think about animal rights, she uses both rational and emotional appeals. "He looked always and always toward the road down which his partner had gone."

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