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Blacov Posted 19 years ago
Grammar
An short essay.
I'm not sure can I post essays to check correctness out by an appropriate person.
However if someone doesnt mind and is willing to help me out, here it is...
School summer holidays should be shorter.
Should school summer holidays be shorter? Children and teenagers in school age
during the year have enough days off school, however everyone has right to have
proper summer holidays, doesnt he?
First of all going to school and all those school
events may be stressful to students that aren't so self confident, moreover some of them may
have not coped all the difficulties at school and it might lead to the tragedy. In an extreme situation
to the suicides of youths. Secondly apart from such extreme situations like suicides, shorter holidays
can be a reason of internal problems to the young people. Such decision releted to cutting their holidays time
will likely face strong opposition. I think a compromise would be the best choice.
My point is that cutting the number of days free from school will not be accepted by students,
it expects to be done warily. Compromises are the key for success.
Another important point is, does shorter vacation help students to acquire better education? What about the held travels during holidays,
in my point of view they give great opportunities to find out more about the culture of a other country, not to mention about the foreign languages.
It seems to me that holidays shouldn't be shortened, teenagers need holidays to rest from stress they're supposed to
face at school. Lack of holidays would be strongly unhealthy, due to the too fast pace of life.
Is there any person on the earth appropriate strong to handle working in stress for all his life not having holidays?
PS: Sorry I am a beginner in writing essays
However if someone doesnt mind and is willing to help me out, here it is...
School summer holidays should be shorter.
Should school summer holidays be shorter? Children and teenagers in school age
during the year have enough days off school, however everyone has right to have
proper summer holidays, doesnt he?
First of all going to school and all those school
events may be stressful to students that aren't so self confident, moreover some of them may
have not coped all the difficulties at school and it might lead to the tragedy. In an extreme situation
to the suicides of youths. Secondly apart from such extreme situations like suicides, shorter holidays
can be a reason of internal problems to the young people. Such decision releted to cutting their holidays time
will likely face strong opposition. I think a compromise would be the best choice.
My point is that cutting the number of days free from school will not be accepted by students,
it expects to be done warily. Compromises are the key for success.
Another important point is, does shorter vacation help students to acquire better education? What about the held travels during holidays,
in my point of view they give great opportunities to find out more about the culture of a other country, not to mention about the foreign languages.
It seems to me that holidays shouldn't be shortened, teenagers need holidays to rest from stress they're supposed to
face at school. Lack of holidays would be strongly unhealthy, due to the too fast pace of life.
Is there any person on the earth appropriate strong to handle working in stress for all his life not having holidays?
PS: Sorry I am a beginner in writing essays
Top answer
Hi, Here are a couple of initial comments. You are using too many rhetorical questions. A good guide is to use one for every ten essays you write.
- Hi, Here are a couple of initial comments.
- You are using too many rhetorical questions.
- A good guide is to use one for every ten essays you write.
- In other words, don't use them very much at all.
- Don't use abbreviations.
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8 Answers
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Hi,
Here are a couple of initial comments.
You are using too many rhetorical questions. A good guide is to use one for every ten essays you write.
Here are a couple of initial comments.
You are using too many rhetorical questions. A good guide is to use one for every ten essays you write.
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Thanks for your effort. Your remarks are very useful to me. I really appreciate them. Since I've never participated in an english language course, I am not really good at formal english, nor I can write essays and stuff. As you likely figured out I am a foreigner, so the reason why I posted the essay is I wanted to have it checked by a person like you. I dont mind that's in fact doesnt look like
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Hi Blacov,
Here are some detailed grammar edits.
Clive
School summer holidays should be shorter.
Should school summer holidays be shorter? Children and school-age teenagers have enough days off school during he year. However everyone has the right to
Here are some detailed grammar edits.
Clive
School summer holidays should be shorter.
Should school summer holidays be shorter? Children and school-age teenagers have enough days off school during he year. However everyone has the right to
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I don't mean to be picky, but don't say 'An short essay'; instead type, 'A short essay'.
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That's what I looked for Clive. It seems I entirely messed up this essay. Dear anonymous probably you're right.
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Hi,
Well, don't be hard on yourself. Wriing an essay in a foreign language is not an easy thing to do. Don't be discouraged.
Well, don't be hard on yourself. Wriing an essay in a foreign language is not an easy thing to do. Don't be discouraged.
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I will not be discouraged, Im going to do my best to improve my writing. On the other hand that essay was for a friend that needs it to school and I hope he will get a good grade for it. What is quite strange to me, he told me essay I've written is too long. Moreover he has rejected the one revised by you Clive.
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NO life is about having enjoyable family and friends time not about going to school everyday i deserve a break!!
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