An Old Person

Question

I have written a short essay about an old person who influenced me.
I suppose there are some grammer mistakes in this essay. Thank you if you can correct it.

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The old person I want to talk about now is the former Development Department Manager of our company. In 1999, I was attracted by him the first time I met him when I participated a job interview held by our company. He was a kind and thoughtful person who always had a gentle smile on his face.

When I entered our company in 2001, I found he was a hard worker as well. He had to attend so many meetings that he had almost no time to do his own job in the daytime. But he always worked till late at night and excellently completed his job. And then told us the new day’s mission energetically at the following day’s morning assembly. In fact, he was suffering from liver cancer at that time.

Although he passed away two years ago, I’ll never forget him. When I meet difficulty, I am always encouraged by his gentle smile and respectable personality.

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Julielai · Accepted Answer

Hi Henbeibi,

These are just my 2c.

The old person I want to talk about now is the former Development Department Manager of our company. In 1999, I was attracted by him (inappropriate wording) the first time I met him when I participated (prep.) a job interview held by our company. He was a kind and thoughtful person who always had a gentle smile on his face.

When I entered our company in 2001, I found he was a hard worker as well. He had to attend so many meetings that he had almost no time to do his own job in the daytime. But he always worked till late at night and excellently completed (awk.) his job. And then (who) told us the new day’s mission energetically at the following day’s morning assembly. In fact, he was suffering from liver cancer at that time.

Although he passed away two years ago, I’ll never forget him. When I meet difficulty, I am always encouraged by his gentle smile and respectable personality.

Henbeibi · Answer

Hi julielai,

You've been very helpful.

I corrected my essay.

The old person I want to talk about now is the former Development Department Manager of our company. In 1999, I participated in a job interview held by our company. It was the first time I met him and he made a favourable impressoin on me. He was a kind and thoughtful person who always had a gentle smile on his face.

When I entered our company in 2001, I found he was a hard worker as well. He had to attend so many meetings that he had almost no time to do his own job in the daytime. But he always worked till late at night and finished his job completely. And then he told us the new day’s mission energetically at the following day’s morning assembly. In fact, he was suffering from liver cancer at that time.

Although he passed away two years ago, I’ll never forget him. When I meet difficulty, I am always encouraged by his gentle smile and respectable personality.

An Old Person

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