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Licinio Posted 15 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

An eventful wedding. Article

I've written this article for my blog, and since I'm trying hard to improve my writing skills, I'd like to get your opinions and corrections. Thanks!

Diego’s wedding took place yesterday, during a rare burst of sunny weather in these days of unsettled climate. I ran across the avenue from my workplace to the registrar’s office at half past eleven to attend the ceremony, which was carried out by a city councillor. He was wearing the tricolour stripe across his dark blue suit, an attribute of the mayor or whoever exerts his functions by delegation.

The marriage was also partly officiated by the bride’s uncle, a missionary in Ecuador for many years and now here on his annual leave. He blessed the rings and gave the couple a beautiful carved wooden crucifix, thus making up for the lack of pomp that people are prone to complain of when they attend civil marriages. I, on the other hand, have grown rather fastidious about lengthy religious services that the marrying couple like to customise with meticulously picked readings and embellish with sung hymns that too often add up to over one hour’s duration.

Outside the town hall a huge limousine had been ordered by some friends as a surprise gift to the newly wed. Its front looked rather like that of a lorry and in its awkwardness contrasted greatly with a never ending row of windows. I suppose it was able to carry a good number of people to the villa that had been hired for the banquet, but I had a work commitment so returned to the office and joined the party only in the evening.

The villa was surrounded by a wonderfully tended park with a flawless lawn and beautiful tall trees. We danced and chatted and had the best food ever, then around past eleven we started on our way back. It had taken us over an hour to reach the place, but it was less on the way back on account of lighter traffic on the motorway.

After Andrea dropped me where I’d left my car, I searched for the key in the purse without being able to find it. I emptied the contents on the pavement to make sure I was not missing it, but soon realised it was not there. I had to phone my friend and ask him to let me try in his car, but search as we can, it was nowhere to be found there either. I concluded I must have left it somewhere at the party, possibly in the bag that contained the gift to the bride and groom. To make things worse, I suddenly remembered I had left the latch key inside the car.

I quickly drew a defence plan and asked Andrea to drive me home where I retrieved the spare key from the garage, then we got back to my car, that I was now able to open and take home. I went to bed at half past one determined to make the most of only few hours’ sleep before a working day, but at two my mobile phone rang.

It was the groom, saying that he’d found the car key in the bag and thanked me for giving him the best gift of all, a car! I’m sure he didn’t think or pretended to forget that my car is now over 10 years old, and to be true doesn’t even belong to me, but to my brother who left it before settling abroad. Anyway I wouldn’t change the old Polo for anything in the world, and would never think of getting rid of it, not even as a wedding present!
  

Top answer

Dear Licinio I liked it very much. In England - and probably everywhere - a wedding should have a funny story All I would say is that you should put one blank line after each paragraph. ".

  • Dear Licinio I liked it very much.
  • In England - and probably everywhere - a wedding should have a funny story All I would say is that you should put one blank line after each paragraph.
  • ".
  • If you break it up then I think it is more welcoming But it's a minor thought - and you may disagree.
  • All the best with the blog Dave
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2 Answers
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Dear Licinio

I liked it very much. In England - and probably everywhere - a wedding should have a funny story

All I would say is that you should put one blank line after each paragraph. You have done the paragraphs well - but you haven't left a line space between each

When people see your text on a web page, they may think - "Oh no, that's a twenty-three line paragraph
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I fully agree. This looks like a big bulky paragraph that's not inviting at all! I'll keep your suggestion in mind and thank you for it!

Andrea

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