An essay need to be correct.

Dear all,
Recently, I'm practicing how to write a good essay, and I also ask for my friend's essay to let me correct. But I found it difficult to correct it. Actually, sometimes I even can't find the thesis statement in my essay so I have no confidence to correct my friend's essay. Can someone help me to correct it with the following questions? This is just the way I want to learn how to correct an essay. Thanks everybody to spend your time on reading this.

1. How is the overall structure?
2. Can this title be more creative?
3. Where is the thesis statement?
4. Where is the topic sentence in each paragraph?
5. Grammar mistakes (comma splice, fragment, etc.)

Suicide

It was a wonderful holiday morning. I turned on the television, after I got up.

“There was a man who committed suicide last night. According to his wife pointed out that the man …” An anchorman said. The event reminded me of a report that I saw it in a magazine. The report pointed out that the rate of suicide increased a lot recently. Why did they commit suicide? According to the suicide cases, there are three major reasons to result in committing suicide, money, love, and health.

Earning is main source of money. The rate of unemployment increased to reach forty- five percent of work force in recent months. There were also some people who had jobs, but their companies asked them that had holidays without salaries. Due to the two main reasons causes workpeople had less income than before even jobless. A person who has no job that not only effected a personal life but also a whole family. If a father lost his job whose salary was the main income of his family, his family would face a difficult position. In modern society, there are some common burdens in a family such as home mortgage, car mortgage, and children’s educating expenses. When people who had no income had no enough money, they would find some ways to attain money or choose to commit suicide to escape the truth.

To have money to subsist, some people who had no money started to borrow money from banks. They who borrowed money from banks started in debt, because they still had no enough money to support their life and redeem the debts. There were also some people in our society had wrong mentalities. For example, they bought a lot of materials by credit cards, but they could not afford it. They did not think their deeds had any problems. When they received the bills, and they did not pay the bills, they would start in debts. Nevertheless, they had a heavy interest because they did not pay the bills. Thus, it was a vicious circle, their debts became heavier. However, they had no idea to solve the problem. Eventually, in their opinions, committing suicide is the last way to solve the all problem.

Some people committed suicide because of love. It was the main point that people persisted in love, who committed suicide for love. In their opinions, they could not live without love, and they thought love is everything. Thus, when they lost someone whom they loved very much, they thought everything was gone as a doom day. Thus, they decided to commit suicide just like the end of the love. However, some people committed suicide for love, because they thought they could use the way to revenge on their love, who betrayed them. These kinds of people wanted to show how they loved their lover and wanted their lover regret to break up with them. In fact, the results were not what they thought.

Sick is also one of reason to result in committing suicide. In modern society, more and more people have mental diseases such as melancholia andmanic-depressive psychosis.

In fact, melancholia is not an incurable disease. However, people in the society excluded these kinds of people and looked them with strange views as lunatic. Nevertheless, Some people have suffered from disease for a long time. They decided to commit suicide, because they were tired of the endless treatment. They thought there were no any ways to save their life. Avoiding encumbering their family, they usually decided to commit suicide.

According to the suicide’s report, money, love, and health are the main reasons of suicide. To the people who committed suicide, suicide is only way to far away from pains. In fact, people wanted to commit suicide, because they did not want to face the truth. They just wanted to escape the reality which made them painful. On the other hand, They did not know how to unleash their pressures and pain. In the meantime, the most important is consideration of their family and friends. In my opinion, committing suicide is the worst solution, when I faced some frustrations and problem. Furthermore, suicide could not only release people’s pain but also solve the problem. Nevertheless, suicide is an irrational deed. I can remember a Master who said that if people live, everything will be all right. I hope if someone wanted to commit suicide, please thought about the family and friends. There is no reason to support a person in the world commit suicide.