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Anonymous Posted 18 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
An essay about sports
I wrote something about sports and business. It's a formal writing. I wish somebody could point out grammar and structural mistakes. Thanks in advance.
"Famous athletes nowadays are more like entertainers than professionals. Usually they are not just dedicated to achieve sports goals. If an athlete can call the attention of the public, she/he would worth more for managers.
The Peruvian soccer player, Cardozo, is the one who has scored more goals for the Peruvian team; but because he hardly ever makes fancy moves, he doesn't call the attention of the public. Therefore, he doesn’t earn much money.
If the role of athletes in society wasn’t to entertain, there would be any millionaire athlete. If they were paid for their sport achievement, just a few of them would have survived. Sports are now an industry that takes care of their valuable products."
"Famous athletes nowadays are more like entertainers than professionals. Usually they are not just dedicated to achieve sports goals. If an athlete can call the attention of the public, she/he would worth more for managers.
The Peruvian soccer player, Cardozo, is the one who has scored more goals for the Peruvian team; but because he hardly ever makes fancy moves, he doesn't call the attention of the public. Therefore, he doesn’t earn much money.
If the role of athletes in society wasn’t to entertain, there would be any millionaire athlete. If they were paid for their sport achievement, just a few of them would have survived. Sports are now an industry that takes care of their valuable products."
Top answer
sounds great
- sounds great
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2 Answers
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I've highlighted a few things you may want to fix.
If an athlete can call the attention of the public, she/he would worth more for managers.
he doesn't call the attention of the public.
If the role of athletes in society wasn’t to entertain, there would be any millionaire athlete. If they were paid for their sport achievement, just a few of them would have s
If an athlete can call the attention of the public, she/he would worth more for managers.
he doesn't call the attention of the public.
If the role of athletes in society wasn’t to entertain, there would be any millionaire athlete. If they were paid for their sport achievement, just a few of them would have s
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