An essay about grading system

Question

Could you proofread this?

I think that it would be effective to combine the traditional letter grading system and the new written report system.

Regrettably, the conventional letter grading system adopted by many universities is not working well. Under the current system, students are evaluated mainly by their test results, which often discourages students with poor grades from learning. This is understandable, for all they get is the alphabets telling them that their academic performance is poor.

However, a positive side of the letter grading system cannot be ignored. It actually helps motivate students with good grades to gain more self-confidence from it and set even higher goals. Therefore, instead of abolishing it completely, it would be ideal to incorporate the new system into the existing system. This change in the current grading system would definitely benefit students with poor grades, because they could figure out exactly what they should do to get better at the subjects they are struggling with.

It is true that giving each student an detailed report may be a burden for professors, but I am certain that it would also benefit them, because it would allow them to pay more attention to the strengths and weaknesses of each student and make the most of the information gained about them in teaching.

In conclusion, the combination of the traditional system and the new one is most likely to fit Japanese universities.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

teacherJapanCould you proofread this?

Copyedit. Proofreading involves comparing the text with what comes off the press.

teacherJapan for all they get is the alphabets

"For" for "because" is literary and formal, and it does not fit the tone of this piece. "Alphabets" does not work. I am not sure what you meant to say, since you tie it in with "discourages them".

teacherJapanHowever, a positive side of the letter grading system cannot be ignored.

"However" and "positive" are flabby. "Cannot" is strident. Maybe "Whatever the shortcomings of the letter grading system, its benefits should not be ignored."

teacherJapanIt actually helps motivate students with good grades to gain more self-confidence from it and set even higher goals.

"From it" is puzzling. "Actually" and "helps" are weasel words. You can't motivate someone to gain self-confidence; the gaining is automatic. Perhaps "It gives students with good grades self-confidence and motivates them to set even higher goals."

teacherJapanTherefore,

I don't think you have enough meat for a therefore. Try "Instead of abolishing …."

teacherJapanit would be ideal

You have not convinced us that much. It would be better.

teacherJapanTherefore, instead of abolishing it completely, it would be ideal to incorporate the new system into the existing system.

The two its clash, and you don't incorporate two things together. How about "Instead of abolishing it completely, it should be folded into the new system."

teacherJapan an detailed report

a detailed report

teacherJapanbut I am certain that it would also benefit them, because it would allow them to pay more attention to the strengths and weaknesses of each student and make the most of the information gained about them in teaching.

Wooly, and "in teaching" is not good. "Pay more attention" is accusatory. Maybe "but I am certain that it would also benefit them, because it would reveal the strengths and weaknesses of each of their students and allow them to make the most of what they have learned about their students in the course of teaching them."

teacherJapan In conclusion, the combination of the traditional system and the new one is most likely to fit Japanese universities.

"Most likely" is weak and unidiomatic. "Fit" is imprecise. You should rethink your conclusion.

CalifJim · Answer

teacherJapan An essay about grading system

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CJ

An essay about grading system

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