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Franco2004 Posted 22 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
An essay about debating
I am learning English now,but my compositions have not any teacher to commit,I want to post it on the internet,can you give me some advices?
topic:Which once do you like:a small family or large family?
I were born in china in early 70s,at that time,we have several brothers or sisters not only in outskirt but also in urban.So in this large family,we have had a happy and healthy emotion even since now.
Unfortunity,our national population is too big to threat enconomy developing,therefore our goverment place an order of one-child policy to limit the birth of every baby.But I consider there has many problems.First of all,one child probably will be spoiled by his/her parents or grandmothers or grandfathers.The child around me often deals with something basing himself or herself and never thinks of someone else,they really becomes "famliy emperor or empress".
Secondly,If a child has many brothers or sisters,he or she maybe avoids this situation.Just like myself,I never felt I were everthing before.In many times,I thought about my brothers or sisters or parents before I would do some decisions and thought over that it was hurt or useless to them or not.Facing the other children threaten,we often co-operated to fight them.I think it was important to future co-work.On the other hand,we will not be lonely.You know,in a small family,the fewer kids can not play many games like our children time,they maybe play with computer games,watch TV show episodes one and another and something like this single paly.I am worried this off-spring how to face the society life because of the ablilities of interchange.
Finally,a large family will not hurt the economy developing,I am afraid.The high population perhaps belongs to the disintergration of the past society and the closed policy.And now,we are getting more and more opening and fortune just because we have more labours and the labour salaries are cheaper than the other countries in the world.So I think it is not a problem to live in a large family.
In conclusion,large family has many priorities than small one.The population increasing is a truth as a nature develping rules.We should not afraid the inflating population would destroy the society.Only in the large family,we can feel the minkind emotion and warm.
topic:Which once do you like:a small family or large family?
I were born in china in early 70s,at that time,we have several brothers or sisters not only in outskirt but also in urban.So in this large family,we have had a happy and healthy emotion even since now.
Unfortunity,our national population is too big to threat enconomy developing,therefore our goverment place an order of one-child policy to limit the birth of every baby.But I consider there has many problems.First of all,one child probably will be spoiled by his/her parents or grandmothers or grandfathers.The child around me often deals with something basing himself or herself and never thinks of someone else,they really becomes "famliy emperor or empress".
Secondly,If a child has many brothers or sisters,he or she maybe avoids this situation.Just like myself,I never felt I were everthing before.In many times,I thought about my brothers or sisters or parents before I would do some decisions and thought over that it was hurt or useless to them or not.Facing the other children threaten,we often co-operated to fight them.I think it was important to future co-work.On the other hand,we will not be lonely.You know,in a small family,the fewer kids can not play many games like our children time,they maybe play with computer games,watch TV show episodes one and another and something like this single paly.I am worried this off-spring how to face the society life because of the ablilities of interchange.
Finally,a large family will not hurt the economy developing,I am afraid.The high population perhaps belongs to the disintergration of the past society and the closed policy.And now,we are getting more and more opening and fortune just because we have more labours and the labour salaries are cheaper than the other countries in the world.So I think it is not a problem to live in a large family.
In conclusion,large family has many priorities than small one.The population increasing is a truth as a nature develping rules.We should not afraid the inflating population would destroy the society.Only in the large family,we can feel the minkind emotion and warm.
Top answer
You may want to work on your basic grammar. Just my 2 cents. g.
- You may want to work on your basic grammar.
- Just my 2 cents.
- g.
- ).
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10 Answers
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You may want to work on your basic grammar. Just my 2 cents.
e.g.
I *were born in china (capitalize) in *the early ***, at that time,we have several brothers or sisters not only in outskirt but also in urban (break it up into two sentences).So in this large family,we have had a happy and healthy *emotion (wrong word) even since now (not before???).
e.g.
I *were born in china (capitalize) in *the early ***, at that time,we have several brothers or sisters not only in outskirt but also in urban (break it up into two sentences).So in this large family,we have had a happy and healthy *emotion (wrong word) even since now (not before???).
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julielai,
I think the OP (other person) knows s/he needs help with her/his grammar.
It would be great if you would help the OP with the grammar. Perhaps you could identify where the OP has errors. You could correct many of the errors, and then help the OP with the rest?
MountainHiker
I think the OP (other person) knows s/he needs help with her/his grammar.
It would be great if you would help the OP with the grammar. Perhaps you could identify where the OP has errors. You could correct many of the errors, and then help the OP with the rest?
MountainHiker
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Point taken. (Just curious: is OP a popular acronym? Never heard of it)
If I were the poster, I'd pay more attention to agreement issues:
e.g. I *were (should be "was")
there *has many problems (should be "are")
Also:
Put a period at the end of each complete sentence.
e.g. I was born in China in 197x. We have several brothers or sisters.
Unfortunat
If I were the poster, I'd pay more attention to agreement issues:
e.g. I *were (should be "was")
there *has many problems (should be "are")
Also:
Put a period at the end of each complete sentence.
e.g. I was born in China in 197x. We have several brothers or sisters.
Unfortunat
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Julielai,
In newsgroups it is. I have not seen it used much, if at all, in EnglishForward.
Yeah, if you can, that would be great. The most effective help is going through line by line. You might even want to "mark up" the
Just curious: is OP a popular acronym? Never heard of it
In newsgroups it is. I have not seen it used much, if at all, in EnglishForward.
I'll probably have more comments later.
Yeah, if you can, that would be great. The most effective help is going through line by line. You might even want to "mark up" the
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I were (was) born in China in the early 70s, put a period here at that time,we have several brothers and sisters both in the urban and rural areas.So in this large family,we have had a happy and healthy relationship.
Unfortunity (spelling),our national population is too big to "too big to threaten" means the size does not thre
Unfortunity (spelling),our national population is too big to "too big to threaten" means the size does not thre
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(Html markup is tough. )
Ya, but it is fun.
I find that it is easier to copy the message to a different program (txt editor or MS Word) and make my changes there. And then I just copy and paste the solution back into English Forums.
MountainHiker
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A very good text editing program that is reasonably inexpensive is UltraEdit32. You can find it [url="http://www.ultraedit.com/"]here[/url]: [url="/"]/[/url].
Hope that helps.
MountainHiker
Hope that helps.
MountainHiker
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Dear Julielai:
Thank you for your commets,and your reply encourages me write the compositions better.
yours sincerely
Fanzhongcui
Thank you for your commets,and your reply encourages me write the compositions better.
yours sincerely
Fanzhongcui
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You're quite welcome, Mr./Ms. Fan.
And thanks again, MountainHiker, for the editing tips.
And thanks again, MountainHiker, for the editing tips.
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