An Essay

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Hello,Could you please correct my essay?                              "The Government should pay for colleges  and universities; Education should                           be                               free for everybody" Do you agree with this statement or not?I quite agree with the following statement  and I will try to elaborate on my own opinion(or argument?).  Everyone wants to receive a good education not only to find a job and get by later(can I use then?), but also to indulge  particular interests.Getting a good education is  an engaging process that, first of all  involeves(or requires?)  a lot of  patience. One's  student's years are always considered  to be  the most unforgettable and interesting.During this time  you make a lot of friends, become  independent( is it possible to say an independent person?), learn more and more  interesting things everyday, and get  ready  for the process of sharing  your knowlwdge  one day at the same time being a little excited and nervous about it(I wanted to put 'at the back of your mind'  but I am not sure if it is necessary and where it can be put exactly).Getting a good education  can be a goal but not a dream since everyone  has the right  to have it.These are the people from lower social class who suffer from this problem  most of all.The government should consider the needs and  interests of such  people  and realise  that they deserve to become educated as well. It behooves the government to  think especially about  young people whose ambitions can help to (Isn't it a mistake to say; 'to help at building a strong country?')  make a strong country.There are many things that can change peoples' lives and I think that the government's decision to make education free for everyone is the most important one.Could I write 'people's life' as well instead of peoples' lives?

Fandorin · Accepted Answer

ninaniaI quite agree with the following statement and I will try to elaborate my own opinion(or argument?). Everyone wants to receive a good education not only to find a job and get by later but to indulge particular interests as well.
Getting a good education is an engaging process that, first of all, requires a lot of patience. [You had better explain why it is so or your sentence is inconsistent with the following one] Student's years are always considered to be the most unforgettable and interesting.
During this time you make a lot of friends, become independent (is it possible to say an independent person? - yes, but it is somehow redundant), learn more and more interesting things everyday and get ready for the process of sharing your knowledge one day while being a little excited and nervous about it.
Getting a good education should [since you're elaborating use words like should] be a goal but not a dream since everyone has a right to have it. There are people from lower social class who suffer from this problem most of all.
The government should consider the needs and interests of such people and realise that they deserve to become educated as well.
It behooves the government to think especially about young people whose ambitions can help to [to is optional here, "help make" will work as well] (Isn't it a mistake to say; 'to help at building a strong country?' yes, it is. You should use a verb) build a strong community.[It appeals more to me, but your variant can suffice.]
There are many things that can change people's lives and I think that the government's decision to make education free for everyone is the most important one.

Could I write 'people's life' as well instead of peoples' lives? No, since people is a collective noun.

On the whole your explanation is very good. A little advice - try to use points which you can clearly dwell on, elaborate them and provide a short and succinct example to support and solidify your opinions. Use words like - on the one hand, on the other hand, however, although, nevertheless, moreover, first of all, second of all, etc to show a skeleton and make it explicit. Have a good day.

Anonymous · Answer

Thank you.

Anonymous · Answer

Hello,

Could you please correct the mistakes in this letter?

Hello,

I am fine thanks, how are you?
Oh, my father enjoys watching programmes about WWII, and to be honest I like it too. I like these quotes more than his paintings

. What do you think about him? I went to see Picasso last year in summer. All I can say about it is that; 'There is really no accounting for tastes':).
I think I don't really like plays. I went to Ballet Theatre to see 'Gizelle' with my mother and sister last year. I think I don't know much either. I can't say I was impressed by Gizelle.
I used to learn French at school.

It reminds me of my granny who helped me with it and of childhood as well.
I am reading Pickwick Papers right now. I love his English!
I enjoyed reading Rousseau's Confession so much! It was given in a perfect translation. It reads so easily and is such an engaging work.
I watched a programme about impressionists yeasterday and it inspired me to visit France one day. Have you ever been to France?
Oh, yes I was waiting for your reply

. I am doing great thanks.
Et vous Mademoiselle?

I do hope to talk to you soon

,

Anonymous · Answer

Oh, sorry I typed it here by chance. <img class='emoticon' style='Width:19px;Height:19px;' data-delaysrc='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/10.gif' src='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/10.gif' alt='Emotion: embarrassed'/>

Fandorin · Answer

Do you need a checking or not?

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, I do. Thanks.

Fandorin · Answer

ninania Hello,

Could you please correct the mistakes in this letter?

Hello, I am fine, thanks, how are you? Oh, my father enjoys watching programmes about WWII and to be honest I like it too. I like these quotes more than his paintings . What do you think about him? I went to seePicasso's paintings [You can't see Picasso]last year in summer. All I can say about it is that there is really no accounting for tastes . I think I don't really like plays. I went to Ballet Theatre to see 'Gizelle' with my mother and sister last year. I think I don't know much either. I can't say I was impressed by "Gizelle". I used to learn French at school. It reminds me of my granny who helped me with it and of childhood as well. I am reading Pickwick Papers right now. I love his English! I enjoyed reading Rousseau's "Confession" so much! It was a perfect translation. It reads so easily and is such an engaging work. I watched a programme about impressionists yeasterday and it inspired me to visit France one day. Have you ever been to France? Oh, yes I was waiting for your reply . I am doing great thanks. Et vous, Mademoiselle? I do hope to talk to you soon

Anonymous · Answer

So have you corrected it or not? <img class='emoticon' style='Width:19px;Height:19px;' data-delaysrc='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/10.gif' src='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/10.gif' alt='Emotion: embarrassed'/>

Fandorin · Answer

Yes. It lacks cohesion a bit, though. But taking into consideration it is a chitchat, I will say it is OK.

Anonymous · Answer

Thanks.

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