An analytical writing topic

Question

0 Dear masters, I am here again. I encountered many problems when I went back to my old track preparing for the GRE test. And I am a little frustrated when preparing for the analytical writing section of GRE General Test.  02br00The following is an issue topic that appears in the GRE issue pool. I really need your advices how to analyze this topic, how to write it, and how to organize a composition for it.  02br02br00"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society." 02br02br00Thanks in advance. 0-

Jeff_999 · Accepted Answer

5000 I only see visitors to my post, but see no one giving me a reply. I was worried if I broke some rule here, so I checked the notice posted by Mr. Micawber carefully. Then I surprisingly found this rule:02br
00"Do not simply ask us to write your essay or story for you, or to give you a list of ideas or thesis statements. We will not do this. " 02br
00I know it is impolite to ask you masters to give me ideas on how to write this essay, but I never ever expected you will write an essay for me. 02br
02br
00Please consider my special situation. This topic is very hard to understand. And I have no idea at all how to analyze the speaker's claim and how to present my ideas either to concur with the speaker or disgree with him/her. Could you please? Just help me analyze the topic? 02br
02br
00And if you think my request is a little too far, please tell me too. I don't hope you ignore my post. 010id9

Julielai · Answer

0Focus on one thing you don't like about how children behave, then talk about how they will act when they grow up.02br
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00e.g. Boys are still encourged to play with fire trucks and girls are told they should play with dolls. This sort of gender stereotyping is not healthy for the future of the society. blah blah blah02br
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00Now find your own example. 050010id1

Anonymous · Answer

0 Thank you so much, Julielai!!!! It enlightens me greatly. Okay, I am going to write an essay under this guidance soon. Could you please help me edit it later after I post it here?02br
02br
00 Incidentally, the background of this web was changed. But I don't know why I prefer the previous one. hehe. 0-

Jeff_999 · Answer

0 Thank you so much, Julielai!!! It enlightens me greatly. I am going to write an essay under this guidance soon. Could you please help me edit it after I post it here? 02br
02br
00Incidentally, the background of the web was changed. But I don't know why I prefer the previous one. hehe. Everything is fine here, and people are kind and helpful. The only probelm is the hoster of this web is not that good. It is sorta slow. 05000 Do you notice that?010id6

Jeff_999 · Answer

0 Here is my essay. Hope you will help me edit it. Thank you very much. 02br
02br
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00The speaker claims that the destiny of society is determined by how children are socialized today, however, we haven’t yet learned to raise children who can help bring about a better society. Our children are our future, and the leadership of society. I agree that how children are socialized will determine the destiny of society. As for the second prong of this dual claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children, however, I don’t concur with it at all. Because our government and society are making great effort to create a good environment for their growth and protect their future 02br
02br
00How children are socialized correlates with the future of our society. Nowadays, our society is still plagued by the specters of gender stereotypes. Boys are still encouraged to like sports and play with fire trucks, and girls are always told they should play with dolls and stuffed animal. All the advertisements in magazines and television shows set a clear boundary that the blue baby clothes are for boys, and the pink baby clothes are for girls. Our children are surrounded by messages that children should do what they are expected to do. Basically, these gender stereotypes are from family, and reinforced by television shows, advertisements, and books. Unfortunately, they are unhealthy for the future of our society. They are destructive because they limit the children’s potential. For example, a boy who wants to be a dancer is often teased by his friends and stopped by his family. It represses the growth of the child. This boy may do have the talent on dancing. However, we don’t give him the chance to practice. Even more, we teased him, and stopped him. Meanwhile, the gender stereotypes create a gender bias in our society, and contribute to the inequality between male and female. They suppress the female contributions to social development. For example, a girl is generally expected to enjoy cooking, so women are often restrained to kitchen. It confirms the belief that men should do the things special to the male and women should do the things special to the female, and only in concord with that they will do well. 02br
02br
00Furthermore, paralyzed families have negative influence on children and our society too. If a child lives in a family where parents have the ideas of sexism or racism, the child would be developed into having biased attitude toward female or other races later. And different structures of family have different impact on children’s growth. For example, some children may live in families that have two moms or two dads, and some children may live in families that have a single parent, gay parents. If a child is adopted, he/she would be upset when people asked who his/her “real” mom was.02br
02br
00As it comes to the second prong of the claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society, I have to say the speaker lacks the close examination into the facts, and therefore doesn’t have defensible stand to support him. As the society develops so fast nowadays, people are more and more aware of the children’s future. Every year, our government invests many dollars on education. It passes many laws to improve the school condition, such as library, laboratory equipment, etc, protect children’s interests and rights, and ensure their healthy growth. Our society, too, creates a good environment for their growth, and lights their future. And each parent dedicates much time on instilling knowledge and the living technique to them every day, and besides, parents pay money to get them educated, and guarantee them a bright future.02br
02br
00In sum, since children are our future, how they are cultivated and how they are socialized determine the future of our society. However, we do invest much time and money in improving their education, in helping them healthily growth, and in ensuring they will have a bright future. 0-

Julielai · Answer

0"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society." 02br
02br
00The speaker claims that the destiny of society is determined by how children are socialized today, however, we haven’t yet learned to raise children 01b01u00in a way that 02u02b00can help bring about a better society. Our children are our future, and 01b00the leadership of society02b00. I agree that how children are socialized will determine the destiny of society. (delete:01i00As for the second prong of this dual claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children, however, I don’t concur with it at all. Because our government and society are making great effort to create a good environment for their growth and protect their future )02i01b00(there isn't a second prong. Focus on the second sentence. 02b00Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.) 02br
02br
00How children are socialized 01b00correlates02b00 01b00with (wording) 02b00the future of our society. Nowadays, our society is still plagued by the specters of (01b00tone) 02b00gender stereotypes. Boys are still encouraged to like sports and play with fire trucks, and girls are always told they should play with dolls and stuffed animal. All the advertisements in magazines and television shows set a clear 01u00gender 02u00boundary01u01b00:02b02u00 (01i00word deleted02i00) the blue baby clothes are for boys, and the pink baby clothes are for girls. (delete: 01i00Our children are surrounded by messages that) 02i00children 01i00should do what they are expected to do 01u00are taught to behave according to their traditional gender roles02u02i00. Basically, these gender stereotypes are 01u00taught by parents02u00, and reinforced by television shows, advertisements, and books 01i00(you mean the media?).02i00 Unfortunately, they (01i00what are they?) 02i00are unhealthy for the future of our society. They are 01b00destructive (wording problem) 02b00because they limit the children’s potential. For example, a boy who wants to be a dancer is often teased by his friends and 01b00stopped (wording) 02b00by his family. It 01b00represses (wording) 02b00the 01b00growth (wording) 02b00of the child. This boy may (01i00delete do) 02i00have 01b00the (article) 02b00talent 01b00on (prep) 02b00dancing. However, we (01b00why are you switching to we) 02b00don’t give him the chance to practice. Even more, we tease01b00d (tense) 02b00him, and 01b00stopped 02b00him. Meanwhile, the gender stereotypes create a gender bias in our society, and contribute to the inequality between male and female. They 01b00suppress the female contributions to (awkward) 02b00social development. For example, a girl is generally expected to enjoy cooking, so women are often 01b01u00confined 02u02b00to 01u00the 02u00kitchen. It confirms the belief that men should do the things 01u00expected of 02u00the male and women should do the things 01b00special to 02b00the female, and 01b00only in concord with that they will do well (what do you mean?)02b00. 02br
02br
00Furthermore, 01b00paralyzed (wording) 02b00families have 01u00a 02u00negative influence on children and our society too. If (delete 01i00a child lives in a family where ) 01u00the 02u02i00parents 01b00have the ideas of sexism or racism (rephrase)02b00, the child would 01u00develop similar 02u00biased attitude (delete: 01i00toward01b00S02b00 female or other races later)02i00. And different 01u00family 02u00structures have different impact on children’s growth. For example, some children may live in families that have two moms or two dads, and some children may live in families that have a single parent, 01u00or even 02u00gay parents. If a child is adopted, he/she would be upset when people ask01b00ed (tense)02b00 who his/her “real” mom 01b00was02b00. 01b00(the greater part of this paragraph does not contribute to your thesis)02b02br
02br
01b00(same here. I don't see the connection between this paragraph and the others) 02b00As it comes to the second prong of the claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society, I have to say the speaker lacks the close examination into the facts, and therefore doesn’t have defensible stand to support him. As the society develops so fast nowadays, people are more and more aware of the children’s future. Every year, our government invests many dollars on education. It passes many laws to improve the school condition, such as library, laboratory equipment, etc, protect children’s interests and rights, and ensure their healthy growth. Our society, too, creates a good environment for their growth, and lights their future. And each parent dedicates much time on instilling knowledge and the living technique to them every day, and besides, parents pay money to get them educated, and guarantee them a bright future.02br
02br
00In sum, since children are our future, how they are cultivated and how they are socialized determine the future of our society. However, we do invest much time and money in improving their education, in helping them 01b00healthily growth02b00, and in ensuring they will have a bright future. 0-

Jeff_999 · Answer

0 Thank you so much, Julielai! I am going to rewrite it. 0-

Anonymous · Answer

I think your second (first supporting) paragraph does not support your position. You assert we know how to raise children, but in the second paragraph you are giving examples of how uninformed and careless people are in raising kids.
Han

Anonymous · Answer

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Anonymous · Answer

This website had taken the entire pool of GRE Analytical Writing topics, removed all duplicate topics, and sorted them by how likely they are to appear on your test. Check it out. It's pretty helpful.

An analytical writing topic

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